recently, i watched this short video...i borrowed the link from someone's blog, and i apologize i cannot remember where. (i like to give credit where it's due, but my fawlty tower has foiled me). i sent it along to some friends, because it moved me. yes, it's sad on the surface, but it got me thinking about stuff. and you have to admit, this entire past week (for me) has screaming at me to STOP, LOOK, and LISTEN. just like in kindergarten when we learned to cross the street. and some of the week has felt more like STOP DROP & ROLL, i must admit. so the video part is obvious, but it's the subtler life chirps that i often miss as i scurry about my life cleaning up cat vomit and getting yelled at on the job, and trying to make cabbage rolls. but this week was a megaphone of metaphor....from the lump-of-certain-death, to the car "dying" and many other life analogies that bitch-slapped me throughout the course of monday through friday. (is there a cosmic Windows Task reminder somewhere that says "Monday - mess with Linda. repeat 4x?). and it isn't that i think i'm about to face imminent death (or i would have bought the Porsche)...it's just like a call to make choices based on the Regret Factor. there's a fine line between selfishness and self-caring. and i need to learn to walk the line a bit better...not that i'm a selfish person, in my humble opinion - more like, when i stopped/looked/listened, i saw my regret could be summed up as such: i regret that i lived too much for other people. and that's not a good choice if it's constant and at an expense - your own. i seem to naturally put (some) others first, but that sometimes doesn't leave leave time or resources for #2 in line. sort of like "affix your mask first, before assisting others." - hey! an analogy within an analogy! personal best! but last night began a feeling of renewal...i finished clearing/cleaning my studio - something that had loomed as a daunting and unfinishable task...i cleared away my Pile of Accumulated Stuff at the end of the diningroom table - another mess-o-rama (if it's piled neatly, then it's not so ugly - till the cat knocks the tower over). dare i say that i have certain dreams of minor travel that may actually become do-able? and some other stuff, but i'm out of coffee and jonesing, so i'll cut it short. it just feels like a better phase ahead..more manageable...the Tricksters have moved on and made someone else their emotional pinata. little bastards that they are. diva is snoring soundly on one of her many woobies, so i'm going to sneak over and make some jewelry before she wakes up and needs to go out. again. and maybe my husband will wake up and see the cat's handiwork and clean it up. not likely, but one can dream. xoxLinda