the great car incident

because i am who i am, i was cautiously optimistic that my uberplan for preparing for, and actually making it to, Squam would go smoothly. but my inner voice of reason grabbed her stomach as she laughed herself to tears. the plan: pack, repack. rewrite list & repack. realize i had packed everything i own and unpack & repack yet again. then...rent car. in order to carry all my navigational tools, i bought an adaptor thingie so i could plug all of this into one cigarette lighter thingie. speaking of cigarettes...mom came by this morning to take me to the rental car place and decided i had tried everything else - why not try God. so she prayed that i would quit smoking. as we headed toward the door, the phone rang and rental car man advised me to take my time - he didn't have a car for me. i will spare you the head exploding moments that followed, but he agreed that yes, it would be the healthier choice for him to FIND a car and drive it across town to me and deliver it at my job. the receptionist and i waited during my non-smoking lunch hour...staring at the door as she regaled me with tales of how this very same company had, on a consistant basis, screwed over our company - delivering a Prius when a van was ordered, not delivering at all, etc. i paced. soon, car man pulled in with a car...not my full sized sedan that i had ordered, but a Vibe. a toy-ish looking car, that despite it's petite cuteness had the design flaw of very deep, low seats...i could not see over the steering wheel. much verbal flagellation ensued, with the CEO chuckling from his 2nd floor aviary, as i flapped my arms and made threatening sounds. so...armed with car man's home phone number, i agreed to TRY to stuff this circus-clown-of-a-small car with all the repacked and overstuffed stuff that i had. AND i held out for a 20% discount. AND a tree-shaped air freshener. if i could't stuff this thing, then he would personally make certain that i had a real persons big car at 7am, when he would sacrifice his hangover cure and come in early. how he is planning to manifest such a vehicle overnight is his problem. i drove home in this tiny tin thinking Hell No. not a safe feeling car. called car man at home, pissed off his wife who is certain we are setting up an assignation. again his problem. so we have a date at 7am, and God help him if the promised Impala is not shiny and waiting at 7am with a tree-shaped air freshener. so i made it all day without a thought to smoking. all day. not one twinge. when i walked in the door and smelled (surprise) cat yark, i, at the self-same moment spied my leftover pack of smokes, and without thought to God, i am ashamed to say i toked a big lungfull. tomorrow is another day. i have a suspicion that i may have forgotten to pack underpants, but refuse to unpack, check and repack again. you know, i try to live a gentle life - a life centered and filled with good intention that becomes a fulfilled prophecy. but people, there are forces that work against this as i go about my day in such a la la la way....forces that are unseen but for the chaos and drama they bring upon my depleted resisitance. and it is in these moments when my sense of humor develops yet larger...in these moments when i shrug, much like Uncle Sam-the-garbage and know that i am the Universe's jester. at last my purpose has revealed itself. so, as i head off into the woods (God willing) say a prayer for me. an all-encompassing prayer that will cover any eventuality and any possible circumstance. let your mind wander and be free with the possibilities of what could possibly intervene in my path to peace. because i tell you, there is great possibility that you will have only nicked the tip of the iceberg. i will offer a full report when i get back. peace out my friend. L.