so as i wandered through the week and smelled the woodsmoke and listened to the sounds of birds and squirrels and laughter and Things That Were Loud In The Woods At Night, i searched my heart for my Purpose...i have been feeling disconnected lately...disconnected from my art...my center...my "life vs Life"...and wanted to get back to basics...wanted to feel that Alive / Tingly / all is as it should be feeling...it hadn't left me - i had wandered from it. now to find the path again. that was my secret mission. yes, there was art to make, techniques to learn, friends to meet and re-meet...but i wanted to reaquaint myself with my Self. one morning as i Walked To Food with a group of others, i spied a rock. der, you say - we're in the woods of New Hampshire. but this rock was pretty and pink and had the words Find Courage on it. Michelle claimed it for herself, which was good because i have plenty of courage. i'm just saving it for something. next came pinecones placed in the shape of a heart. so now we are all paying closer attention to this treasure hunt. i lagged a bit behind, with the feeling that Something would be here for me. everyone else passed by My Rock. i spied it...blue with white writing. one simple word. EXPAND. expand?? that's it?? seriously? but my heart knew something my brain hadn't caught up with, and tears filled my eyes as i wondered why this one word was having such a profound effect on me. expand. expand. i couldn't speak as everyone gathered to see my rock. a tear slid down my cheek. expand. and i realized how compressed my world had become. in so many ways. how focused i had become on the routine of my life, and Life. how i had spent so very much energy trying to walk the path of the days i had chosen, and all i could see was the next step, the tunnel of brambles and branches. expand. there was a girl in my class who had come all the way from London to be in the same woods as i was in at that moment. expand. the thought terrified me that i would ever get on a plane and fly through all those time zones and airports just to arrive somewhere. when did that happen? why did that happen? and i began to see in a huge blast how my life had begun living me, rather than the opposite. how my new schedule at work had cut my life into 2 parts that rubbed against each other with uncomfortable friction. how 5 days was devoted only to working for someone else's dream...someone who would continue to take without regard. and then 2 days for ...Everything Else - mundane tasks, art, recentering. and this was no longer acceptable. and a solution to the problem became immediately apparent. and my spirit danced. and in case, just in case, i didn't get the message (as i am prone to do), later that day a woman with eyes so blue you'd swear she held the sky and ocean both within them, said to me one word ...Leap. and it made sense suddenly. expand. leap. and within those 2 very brief and gentle and personal moments, the brambles and branches and sticky things cleared and the sun was warm on my heart. expand. leap. and within those words were my purpose. i saw my place. i saw my Job. and the relief that i hadn't really strayed too far filled me. and the realization was that not too many scary changes needed to be made to get back to the proper compass setting. leap. expand. i met the Rock Fairy just a bit later in the dining hall, and again felt the lump in my throat. Thank you, rock fairy, for listening to your small, quiet voice that told you what to paint on that rock. after that, i was a driveling mess for the rest of the weekend...and it was all good, my friends.