a quiet, yet amazing day. as usual, the gypsy woman woke me at 5am and rather than hit the studio, i spent time in meditation. as i mentally began to pull out my shopping list of what i want and questions i needed answering, i said Ah Ha, nope, and took a few steps to the side. this morning would be about gratitude. period. not about working through anything. not even a sculpture design issue. just. gratitude. the quietness of that time followed me as i walked through the silent house...even the usual creaky spots in the floor seemed quieter. i walked in a cloud of gratitude...pure gratefulness. to try to explain or verbalize would be impossible. but every iota of my being was vibrating with the joy for all i have...for all i don't have...for the quiet...for the silencing of the inner noises in order to feel the sameness, the connection with the creation around me. i know that sounds all mescaline, but i told you it was difficult to verbalize. it was a peacefulness and a knowledge that all is well, and will be well, no matter what outside appearances seem to say. i headed back up to the studio, ready to work. and just couldn't. i didn't want my mind distracted from the moment. so, what else to do? hit the shower. i do my best thinking in the shower, and thankfully, we have a hot water on demand system! and i thought soapy thoughts: what is my bliss? where is the golden thread that ties together the things that make me ecstatic? blissful? what are the things that feel authentic for me? who am i really? and you know, it always comes back to a parenthesis of things: service to others, making connections between those that need and those that have to give. simple. i am absolutely rocked to my core when i know my favorite wildlife rehabber needs, say, a sterilizer for her feeding tools, and i realize i am sitting on a motherload of them. and just know that it would be a mere question away to liberate one (legally). and maybe someone else needs xyz, and another has xyz. you get the point. i am pantingly ecstatic to be used in that way. and that, my friends, has become the next baby step. realizing where the path begins. where the third option sits in a gilded box, spilling open light and promise and authenticity for me. and hopefully a little rust. i also know that i miss my yoga practice. it is a lifeforce for me. it puts everything in perspective. what am i willing to bring to the table to trade for 2 hours off early, once a week? quite a lot. and i will propose this tomorrow. without my practice, the vines creep in and choke back the goodness. i look back on posts i've made since not being able to go, and i feel them slowly draining of spirit. i do feel pulled toward a more spiritual walk through this world - not a holier-than-thou thing...not a walk with blinders that can only see/speak of beliefs and prayer and meditation. just being me, only deeper, better...like the old, "BASF" commercials. "we don't make the _____, we make it better." there are 2 people in particular that i feel such an incredible pull towards...a knowing somewhere in my spirit that they will be important to my next baby steps. one person, i met once, but they stayed in my heart in ways that are so pure and demanding of notice...when we met, something in my hear told me that this person would become important at sometime in my life. the other, i rarely see, but have had a deep heart connection with for a very long time. i'm not sure what role they will play in my next steps, but will wait for it to play out to me, rather than chasing after something i know nothing about. so unusual for me! that hamster wheel can be addicting - you really think you're going somewhere, then you stop and realize - you're in the same place! sometimes it takes a 360 trip around the darn thing to make you get off (as if i've ever BEEN a hamster. but i've HAD them and have watched them, so i know from where i talk, nu). now, in the Strangest Thing I've Seen Today column: little decorative tissues with Shiva on them. at Tuesday Morning. i mean, would you honk on Jesus? (like the old bumper sticker). seems wrong and i'm not Hindu. (i don't think.) sending you big honkin' hugs y'all! xoxLinda