drops of jupiter & random thoughts

sorry -still no pics. next time. maybe. i hope. so the west coast gypsy woman had diva wake me up at 5am this morning. i've come to expect it. last night was a difficult surrender to sleep as i wrestled and teased out ANY detail of a new sculpture i have buzzing in my brain. i hate when they play hard-to-get...get all the anticipation up, then hide behind a list of mindless chores, much like a prom date with a chaperone...look but don't touch. after deciding NOT to do the face casting on myself (Amy pointing out that it would be a challenge after my eyes were covered. duh - who knew??) i was back at square one. the CrowWoman i had planned didn't have the right vibe for what i wanted. back to square -1. but i knew the emotion and the story i wanted to express. 1 step forward. now at zero. so at 5am, when only the crows were singing kirtan out my window - call and response - i spied the very item i needed in my heap of rusty stuff. the very item that fairly screamed PICK ME and became the inspiration for the rest of the piece. and then another. and another. and they all fit perfectly together...barely needing any joining work...like they were born to fit together in just this way, despite being formerly used in very different applications in their former lives. can i just say that i hate copycats in the worst way? that's why i rarely take workshops, unless it's to learn a specific skill that i know i can apply to my own work in my own way. that's why i rarely, if ever, invite people to my studio if i have a project in progress. i just hate seeing something so very familiar come from someone else's hand before i've had a chance to even finish mine. that's why you'll see semi-finished projects in my studio - they sit unfinished at the point where the good vibe went out of them and negativity came into the room. i'm not sure where that rant came from, but i'm leaving it because it seems important to. so...oh. the 3rd option. not forgiveness...not business-as-usual, as i feared it may be. i am willing to forgive with the depth of what i am able. but this time, forgiveness does not include forgetting and carrying on as if nothing happened. it means forgiveness to release the badness, and then moving on. and the third option is not about any of that. i need to let it solidify a bit more before i can verbalize it, but i am grateful from the smallest atomic part of me all the way to the largest (my ass, no doubt). (ok, so i'm not ready to shave my head, don a saffron robe, and be humble. unless i can swear every so often). i have to admit that sometimes nothing feels better than a great blue wave of profanity. it feels so...naughty. have you checked out Brian Andreas yet? www.storypeople.com. i re-read his book this morning as i searched for inspiration. very subtle. thank you again, girl posse, for again gifting me with your hearts and intentions. i'm growin' like a weed, dudeloves! so nice. and now...back to jupiter. xoxlinda