yes i know...it's been just a bit. well i have been mad crazy wonderful busy...getting ready for 2 (and now THREE) shows. i hope this pays off in cold American money. not to downplay the spirituality of the art, but it isn't doing me any good staring at me from my studio and livingroom. i made this art to be sent out into the world. i think just now i will be able to do that without remorse. only Hover and Icarus will stay forever with me. and i think Meyers. but the rest feel like they are meant for others and it's time. i have a few loads of projects started, and will welcome the time to work on them. the difference now, is that i don't feel crowded or overwhelmed by it all. i don't feel guilty to put one aside for a while or a year, while i get the bones down for another. it feels good artistically, productively, rather than the frantic fear of non-producing. it's not coming from a "produce-or-perish" perspective, and that's finally a good place to be in. i'm almost done with the BLACKFISH and CROW pieces. i was going to add them to my etsy shop last week, but want it to be just right from the get go, so i'll throw marketing concepts aside with Valentine's Day and do it properly. and what about Valentine's Day?? i must say, i'm not in favor of it. i call it a Hallmark Holiday - a day kanoodled by some slick marketing rep somewhere to sell cards, candy, flowers and diamond jewelry. i'm not being a grinch here...i just don't feel comfortable with One Day set aside to buy SOMETHING ANYTHING to present to someone because if you don't you'll be in Trouble. i want Something more often. (tee hee) and i don't want to be told when to send a card and worry if it's the right gift etc etc etc. yes - we are going out for dinner to a real nice place. but only because we have a gift card, and to ignore the holiday at this tenuous point in our relationship challenge would be like poking satan in the eye. so we'll overeat in the name of love. come home and fall asleep in front of the tv, and then sunday...car races for husband, and studio time for me! la vida loca. the non-smoking is coming along better than expected, and i realized yesterday morning in my shower meditation, that i need a strong Hand to hold me on this go-round. (seeing as how i've dropped a miraculous amount of weight and have regained concentration - the scales go back and forth weighing health vs. girth) and ya know, whenever i get a craving, i picture God saying - "here...take my hand" and i am able to get through it. so that's cool. hearing voices? just inner...no worries. what do you expect from a born-again jewish buddhist? oy vey. go in peace y'all...namaste and shalom. L.