rip off

sorry for the not-so-original post here, but this is truly worth the scorn of having ripped it of from ceanandjean.typepad.com ...a theme in my life has been Fearlessness...and oddly, for my surprise 50th birthday (turning 50 wasn't a surprise, i mean, i CAN COUNT...just the party was a surprise. and even that - not so much. but don't tell husband.) so anyway - one of the gifts i received was from an artist friend of mine, Amy, who made me a small bowl that says "fearless" on it. so the stars were pretty clear about what my mission would be evolving toward. so watch this then come back. i'll wait. done? pretty spanky, eh? that's how i feel. i have had a series of Real And Imagined Life Issues thrown at me this past year where the only way around...is through. and it took, and i suspect will continue to take, an amount of Fearlessness that i did not have inside me...that i had to grow and reach to, in order to move forward. or take 2 baby steps backwards, like in the video. i am a back-stepper of Lord Of The Dance proportions and skills. oh hey yeah. i can backstep, triple lutz with a twist in the pike position while making it all smoke-and-mirrors so you don't notice. and the best part was that i was able to wow even myself with this show. bravissima! but at some point, you realize that your feet are starting to get bored with the same 2-step and you think, hey ok, maybe i should add a small cha cha cha. so little by little, i began to dance. but i'd wasted so much time 2-stepping, that i had to catch up quick to join the march, so that's where i've been. catching up. and much like doubling up on semesters, it has been exhausting and tiring and tiresome and very difficult. and very wonderful. hard work brings good reward, according to Great Gram Mina (who was a twin to Minnie...and Mina could drive a Percheron team through the fields as well as a Harley through the streets. no helmet. no teeth. not a hair out of her hairnet-encased bun.) so now that i'm perfect...oh yeah right. ah-hem okay. and i had applied some of my lessons to my art before but it had been too hard to apply it to my actual life, till my art took a break from me, and the Brain had all this new-found information and nowhere to apply it, so the Brain said "Ah Ha - the Life! I'll apply it to the Life!" and as you may know, the Brain listens to nothing and no one but itself, and is very very stubborn once it convinces the Mind to go in halvsies and i needed a break from the angst of non-creativity, so i grudgingly said i'd give the Brain a listen. along some synapse, the message came out wrong, and this whole Life Improvement campaign began within the Brain, and was never checked into for a vote whether or not to proceed...it was a "go" houston. so back to the art example. at a certain point in a person's artistic life, and when the shine starts to wear a bit on All Things Stampington, you realize that your art is...Your art. and hopefully, Your Art. it does not have to look like Anything Anywhere, and hopefully will not. it does not need wings or coneheads or eiffel towers or be made out of the material-du-jour in order to be valid and wonderful and yours. and so, the moment where Life, does indeed, imitate Art...or at least my art theory. i did not need to wear this, or have that hair, or live here or there, or blah blah blah, in order to be Okay. and Good. and Wonderful. lightbulb. remember in kindergarten? Just Be Yourself. at what point does that message gets blurred to Blend in? Go with the Flow? Fit In? so i've spent one-third of my life learning to be myself, another third learning to fit in, and now...the third third will be spent back at kindergarten learning to be myself?? is that the best the Brain could come up with?? so with the fearlessness of my coyotes, and a box of crayons, i proceed. join me? L.