yes - you.
and i thank you for traveling this journey with me…holding my hand, holding me up, holding me in sacred & sweet thoughts and prayers. I feel like i've popped above the surface for air…gasping life back into my lungs…smiling again and laughing so hard at things that tears roll down my cheeks - different tears. some more things i've learned: not to be ashamed of tears, not to try to staunch them - but encourage them to freely flow…that it's really okay to let someone cry…to just be there with them and let them bawl, without having to fix it - just let them have their time…honor it, acknowledge it, and just make that little noise that Kim makes (sort of a mmmmm sound). in the past 6 months, i have cried so hard and so long, i wondered if i might turn to dust and disappear, having leaked all the moisture from my body. my heart felt like dust, of that you can be certain. and those tears ran with the accompaniment of a howling, gut wrenching sound-gurgle-strangled noise that would just not be contained inside. nice visual, no? there were long days when the only way i could work was to remember this video that my brother sent me:
but now, i feel my girl power coming back. i feel re-centered and re-ready to take on whatever's next. i say that with one eye closed, you should know, because i am now very careful what i wish for. lottery is one thing i wish for with no thought to consequence.
so because it is Africa hot in my studio right now - being too cheap to turn on the AC up here - and because Henry is having a throwdown with some animal on TV, i'm going to say good night, and thank you again. i am now ready to carry your burden, should you need me to. it's only fair.