a Tiny description

a full time artist, stepmother, radio personality, and mom to an energetic Chug dog, tries to get through the days without committing a felonious act. My life is a rickety Zen circus.


Friday, January 30, 2015

the snow came down pretty good last night - not like many of the coastal towns, but still a respectable showing.  Perfect Stepdaughter and I went out to a sushi place for dinner, and today we both feel unwell.  I lollygagged in bed till 10am…well, in bed and then running to the ladies room.  Henry stayed put, curled up and warm.  no friend to play with today - she ran him ragged yesterday, and today i just wanted some time to myself.  i say that, but as we speak, he is whining and running up the stairs to stare at me - we are apparently under attack by a flock of mourning doves.  not exactly US, per se, but they are at the bird feeder, and Henry feels the need to keep that area clear of any and all forms of life.  they may eat his supply of bunny poo, after all.  why do dogs DO that??
i have to say that this has been a most interesting run of months…the growth rings on my core have to be HUGE…if i was a tree…and i feel like i'm settling into myself.  i've never been one to change myself for the company i'm with, or for who i think my reader might be, but i do feel even more "settled in" than ever before, and even more unapologetic.  hard to explain.  in the past, i've almost felt like i had to be hard and harsh and swear a lot, just to feel like i was not conforming to someone's idea of me being a proper lady.  (ha!) now, i know that i can just be, and however i feel like acting or reacting is proper - because it's me.  that isn't to say i'm going to intentionally start swearing like a sailor.  that isn't me.  but that like teeny drop of a feeling that i should hold back or push forward to suit the situation is no longer a part of me.  i am naturally polite (ish) and thoughtful, but not always the way people expect me to be - especially since i started back in radio.  the perception is that you are who you act like on the air.  not so true.
ok, how i got going in that direction, i don't know.  but - despite feeling wonky from bad sushi, and despite looking outside and seeing a white out of blowing snow, i feel grown and tall and self-assured.  so there's hope for everyone!
maybe i'll post more tomorrow when i (hopefully) feel better and make more sense!  good idea.  i was going to talk about the deep respect and admiration i have for my friends, but i clearly am not tracking well enough to do the topic justice.  so tomorrow it is….

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