ok, while some glue is drying...i'll ramble and half-answer some questions. No I haven't moved to NYC. Am I thinking of it? heck yep. i'll freely admit that Times Square does it for me - standing in the smack middle, with all the smells and sounds and those lights (!) just does it big time for me...yes, tears. unashamed. And if i had an iPod with a drumline playing, AND was in Times Square, I might just explode on the spot. just leave a small pile of ash right there. gone. done. so this weekend was just all that. (except for the ash part). (i was careful). i am a sensory person. yes, i pet the man's dreds at the restaurant. i asked first. but they were waist length and perfect and just, well, petable. i had to. i just had to. and he was not upset about it. prolly grew them (bought them?) for the purpose of attracting women. so now that i've cut my hair, i realize i'm a long hair person. so i'm growing it back. (maybe buy some for the interim?) even if it looks creepy. which it won't. i found a hairdresser who promised to cut it exactly the way i want it. or else. side note - i smell popcorn from downstairs. okay, anyway. yes i am thinking of making some changes. i find myself being stuffed into a smaller and smaller box, and that isn't what this is supposed to be about. and when i notice myself saying "Here, let me help you stuff that arm in" then it's time. past time. and after getting hit with a flying D thanksgiving day+1, it is past time, apparently. it's just the implementation....so overwhelming.
i used to be fearless. absolutely fearless. knowing my power. and i believed in Magic like it was my religion. then it all got clouded in Being An Adult. well, the belief in magic is back. and it is more than a religion. it is just the way it Is. and i love swimming in the possibility and synchronicity of it all. Mrs. Walker was right all those years ago when i interviewed her. she was just a little cautious about the timeline :) And Violet backed it all up. i just didn't believe. because i was An Adult. and we must Be Serious. shmahttah, i say. there is so much inside me right now - so much to share, so much to hold close to the vest, so much i'm yearning to hold out in my hand and say "see!" It's frustrating, yet i feel such gratitude at being able to feel it all...to know the things that i am turning this way and that in my mind...wanting so badly to grab a hand and say Come On! Let's sing the lights on!
today i wish you the magic of wishes and glittery lights overwhelming you .....
2 comments:
Oh please please move to New York and I will visit once a month!!!
You got the magic in you, Baby ! Choose the love magic and tell the fear to f-off !!!!
(I got your back ! )
Love you !
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