i needed a little good news...more of my jewelry is selling at the gallery! i have a mandate - an absolute or-else-order - from the gallery owner to give her 12 pieces on monday. which should be tricky since i have to go to my Big Girl job for 1/2 day saturday to make up for wednesday. normally i'd blow it off, but yesterday (and how i missed all this i'll never know) they walked a girl out for absentee time that wasn't made up. followed by an all-staff email today about how we owe the company 40 hours a week. so my exit plan just got easier! although i'd hate to burn that bridge after all these years. but...unemployment can be a great motivator. the weirdest thing happened this morning as i trudged to the office door through gale force wind and whipping cold rain with my inside-out umbrella. i got raging furious mad mad mad...like Don't Make Me Take My earrings Off mad. at my 1st husband. who has been deceased since, well, let me think, anyway a Long Time. longer than 10 years. this hateful storm welled up inside me and a silent spewing of Mad went on of the How Dare You Leave Me in Debt of That Size type of mad. and it went on for a while (it's a long walk to the door, and i'm good at making a point) with the How Dare You's triumphing over rational thought, only to be joined by the YOU OWE ME's and an absolute Demand that wherever he may have ended up (bets off) he had better arrange for a lottery win or some type of major Donald Trump-sized windfall and quick. now, i'm not of an entitlement mindset, and i sure haven't had a problem making my own way. but with the wind and rain and umbrella all conspiring against my zen, and the fact that on the other side of the door, should i reach it, was a pile of paperwork and unreasonable demands on my good nature, i snapped. and it actually was the first time in many years that i had even thought of him, so to have this conversation with him was remarkable in so many ways...aside from the fact that it was also the longest conversation we had since we said I Do. (i say "conversation" but it was totally one sided). so by the time i reached the door and heaved my battered self inside, nearly knocking over Phyllis with the mailcart, i was ready for a rumble. i squish to my cube, and one teammate is not in yet, and the other's cube is empty, but recently occupied. it does not appear to be the start of a good day. i'll spare you the yadda yadda-ness of the whole complexity, but i am glad to be home in my baggy sweats with a puppy on one side and kujo kitty nearby looking for flies. s/he is the Fly Whisperer. goes bonkers over bugs. every summer day, we leave the slider open to the 2nd floor deck so s/he can sit outside - s/he's an indoor declawed cat (s/he came that way so don't get on me) and if we forgot to close up before dark...yes, a present for us. with an important announcement. i say "s/he" because kitty is actually a "he" but looks so delicate and has a girl's name, so i call him "her." the cutest thing - diva was laying on couch the other day (well, everyday, but this incident happened the other day and never before). and kitty was in her special spot on the back of the couch, and ever so slowly and gently reached her paw down and began to pet the dog. actually petting her. on the head. doggie opened her eyes, and kitten slowly pulled her paw back, lest she lose that along with the claws. it was touching, and reminded me of when Kita started licking Bear between the eyes a few days before Bear died. of course that sweet moment turned on me, and so you can understand why i would pay heaven and earth to get a good diagnosis and treatment for my last love. ramble ramble...yes, the husband went to his manly man hunting camp today to spend hours in a tree with his BFF. neither has the heart to actually shoot anything, and have only come home with great photos in the past few years. which i am good with. i pretend he's on a business trip. so speaking of husbands, it should be interesting if i'm as scary to the dead as i am to the living when i get my mad on...buy lotto tickets, just in case.