do not tell the amish...

kicking and screaming, i have joined facebook. i don't know why...i have no clue what the etiquette or rules or purpose is of facebook. i am a lemming. i figured i needed a new way to feel insecure...i mean, are you judged by how many people friend you? what if no one friends me? and what if they do?? i barely have time to return emails and post here. i have a naked mannequin in front of me, a constant whine about not enough art time, last year's birthday present for angelfriend staring at me, a piece of art that got delivered to NH in, well, pieces, a gypsy woman on the west coast who persists like a terrier with a bone PERSISTS in waking me up at dark o'clock, and a dog with potty issues. it's a full life. but there i am. on facebook. i would have thought that i was available by phone, mail or email to anyone who cared. and vise versa. and when i joined, i had a million (give or take) people just waiting for me to friend them. i have no idea who some of these people are. am i obliged? will it hurt their feelings? and my name isn't even right because apparently i started to fill out the form before and said nah, but it registered anyway. does that make me a fake friend? my head could spin off and take flight right about now. and now i see a friend (in real life) on there has a different last name again and i thought she was just going to visit the guy for a week. for the love of God. and what about old fashioned mail?? the feel of the paper, the handwriting, the sensory goodness of a letter or card...i got a card in the mail yesterday, and i swear to you i giggled...someone took time to find this card, write a note in it, put it in an envelope, find a stamp, and mail this to me...because although they are busier than satan at a strippers convention, she knew it would make me giggle like the ice cream man just dumped his inventory on my driveway. i just carried it around for a while without opening it...just savoring it. i know - i am a dork. and that is why you like me. so i am apparently attached to the entire world electronically like 6 degrees from kevin bacon, but honestly, i almost crave the days of the 5-cent phone call from a real phonebooth. i'm going back to my own world. there is safety in geometry. i'm going back to square 1. someone grab my frye boots and tie dye. peace. L.