THE Garage sale

if you aren't from here, this will probably sound about as yokel as it gets. yesterday was The Radisson Garage Sale. this is a huge residential community ...it began about 30 years ago as an experiment - a Planned Community...self-contained...health center...grocery shop...school..etc. kinda sounds like a cult. anyway, the health center got going, but thankfully no other outside type stuff. (let me pause here and just say this: i don't drink. BUT last night we had a Hillbilly Redneck Driveway Party, and i had some tasty slushy concoction that made my legs numb - i went to stand up and couldn't. hunh. i overstayed, but it was in my driveway, so...but my point is that i'm spending equal amts of time typing, then correcting my spelling/typing errors. so i;m going to just let it rip, and you ppretend iyt's a 15-year old texting and figure it out.). where was i? oh. so it's grown A Lot since the 70's, and every year (inexplicably on Mothers Day weekend) the entire community has a garage sale. hundreds od garage sales all in 1 place. literally 1000's of people. my face is so tired from smiling. and every year we say we aren't doing it...we have nothing to sell. and every year, The Very Morning of the sale, husband starts dragging stuff out and i have to arrange & price while the gathering hoards pounce. very stressful. and the woman at the end of our street has an endless supply of antiques and beautiful things to sell, putting the pressure on everyone else to put out nice things. (we don't roll like that tho). so the night before, youngblood, who is carless, demands a ride back here from his mothers. and of course, husband complies. so now i've got the 2 of them squabbling, the dog trying to attack them, a pile of God-knows-where-he-got-it-from "merchandise" ANd AND i lent my table to aunt debbie. (the dog's aunt). i could just move. add into the mix that my husband overdrank, and there is a storm brewing in my bonnet. nothing gets done. i'll skip the actual details about the sale except this one: there is something surreal about a Mennonite woman strumming your son's guitar-for-sale in your very own driveway trying to put the arm on you to lower the price to $10. on a $130 guitar that you only want $45 for anyway. it was just odd. ands she stared unblinking at me with steely righteous eyes while doing it. i gathered my essence and said sorry $45. she continued to strum. i wanted to ask if she knew "Dominique" or "Free Bird" but felt that would be innappropriate, or worse- she'd charge me for the performance. so she finally set it down and left. i got out the garlic, crossed myself (i think i did it right...left, right, up, down?) (i'm a lot of religions but haven't gotten to Catholic yet. just ask my mother-in-law), hugged a tree and asked the low-flying crow to protect me from whatever evil wrath i incurred by not lowering the price. it was a good guitar. oh - and in the box of bookks i tried to give away (buyt 1 get 20 free) i found a book i just bought. so ANYway, after all this, i declared a driveway party. now, i live on a great streeet of neighbors. we're all in the same financial boat, so tehre's no keeping up with the neighbor thing. and in the summer, when the mood strikes, we gather at the end of someone's driveway to have a soda, or a beer, and just hang out and be neighborly. as the summer progresses, the snack competition gets into full swing and the gatherings take on Snack Epic proportions. but last night was impromptu, so just some little weiners on sticks in the chimera someone brought down (in a wheelbarrow, of course) and chips. and The Slushy Stff. who knew a liquid with that much alcohol would actually freeze? and taste so good? both cups? who knew you could actual end up with Phantom Legs from a little cup of ice and some green stuff in it? Pick Me! Pick me! i now know. so meanwhile i have lost the entire point of this post and diva is up and rattling her tags, so i have to go let her out. i'll get back to you. L