solitude & laundry

my husband's out in the woods...been there with his friends since friday. coming home tomorrow night. i like to think he's just away on a business trip. i know, i know. so i've had some serious alone time in the peacefulness of my home, and am really liking it. i don't know how i ever worked full time. i just don't. even with just 3 days at my Big Girl job, i still feel crunched. diva needs more attention. my art needs more attention. the housework...well, that's always been low on the list anyway. can i tell you how excited i am for christmas this year?? i don't know why. just am. i think last year was awkward...it was the first christmas without Bear & Nikita. every year we'd take a picture of Jenny and the two of them (diva being all Amish about the camera) in front of the tree. last year we reluctantly bought and decorated a tree the day before christmas. no pictures. so saturday i went out and bought a serious load of decorations and this house looks like the Christmas Tree Shop blew up inside it. i even bought a Febreeze air scenter - christmas wreath alternating with cinnamon apple. love it! i can't wait to breathe! then i cleaned the house. yes...i said it. it's different when i do it for myself, alone, without someone checking my work. i feel so grown up! then the laundry. i needed socks, and the next thing you know, i was knee deep in it. as i dusted the bedroom (no comments) i came to my nightstand (actually bed table). on it, still folded inside out, was the tshirt i wore the last time i held my Kita. i'd taken it off when i got home, and turned it inside out to try to save the smell of him. i know after a year, 2 months, and 19 days, that it would probably smell more like the dust that accumulated on it, but it was still, i don't know, i guess the last link. but i guess it was time. every night before i'd go to sleep i'd see it there and feel a little pang. still. so before any second or third or fourth thoughts, it went in with the dark load. i'm glad he doesn't have to face the cold this year...his bones would just protest, and he deserved better. but i do so miss him. still. we used to play hide and seek out back...for real. he'd run into the brushy area and bark, as if to say find me. i'd pretend i was looking all over and he'd bound out of hiding with his whole body wagging. as if a white dog was invisible in the green bushes! then he'd go around the corner and i'd run behind a tree and he'd look in all the usual places, still startled when i jumped out at him. i grew up a cat person. never thought i could love a dog. surprise. diva has a totally different personality...much needier in the love department, yet much more cat-like in other ways. and don't even think about touching her Greenie bone. oh no! uhn uhn! take a finger off. so i'm thinking about getting a tattoo this weekend. something to cover up the other one that was done pretty badly. Rocky The Flying Squirrel. too dark, though, and as the area grew and deflated countless times, it came to look like a large grey birthmark. so, any suggestions? i wanted to do a Phoenix on my lower back area, but can't find a picture of one i like...most look like a screaming chicken rising from a BBQ pit. which a chicken might indeed do if it found itself in that position, and was able. i know i would. but anyway....hmmm. have to give it some thought. my mom gave me the coolest can of tea bags. each tag has a different saying on them about women. i'm drinking, "a grown women should not have to masquerade as a girl in order to remain in the land of the living." made by Bag Ladies Tea. the tea is actually good also! my friend Georgia is in India. we've been following her progress on http://www.scottstours.com/ . i'm saving my nickels. i will go next year. bill hates to travel outside the US, except the virgin islands-type thing. there are so many places i want to see. a lot of them are in the US, but some aren't. i'd like to see Russia, and parts of Mexico, and Alaska (i know), and i'd love to see parts of Saudi. my girlfriend was stationed there a few years ago. said it was like opening an oven and breathing in the heat every time you stepped outside. maybe i'd go in winter when the temps were down a bit...say 100 or 110. i don't know, there are a bunch of places i'd like to see. but looking at the pictures on the website (scottstours) makes me want to BE there. there's 1 picture that takes my breath away....it's a huge temple...all carved wood or stone...all flashing colors...carved faces...oh my God is it the most incredible sight. i'm sure i'd stand there in tears. check it out under the photo section then dare to say it isn't magnificent! well off to play with diva for a bit before nappy time. sleep well y'all, and have the best holiday, if i don't talk to you by then. Linda