some days you feel absolutely and irretrievably broken inside…your very Self is leaking out with the tears that stream down your face…there is little you can do but sit on the floor and let the Reel Of Horrors play through your head as you moan. that's the best i can describe it without sending you to the floor. yet. yet. yet. somewhere in the midst of all this mess, you realize that there will come a clarity…that whatever has caused this emotional and wet outburst needed to be heard…needed OUT. and it was bursting it's way through the busy-ness and calendar events and dodges and weaves that would make a Harlem Globetrotter proud. somewhere in the mess of prostrate grief, there would come a clarity about something(s) that needed a closer look…a single tear magnifier. after the dog has been walked an inch shorter, and the carpets vacuumed completely up and silver gleams like a laser and wood floors have taken themselves up and run back to the forest in fear - sometime just after that, when you pause for a moment to catch your breath in the post-cleansing cleaning, it sneaks up around to the corner of your eye…you see it - that Thing that needed to be heard…that monster that created the great heaving sobs…and you see it's just a wounded little fluffy thing that needed healing…a Realization of being wronged or of being wrong…or of facing a Big Scary that really isn't so bad, after all.
I welcome the clarity…and i promise to listen to my heart a bit better, so as to avoid the drama.