dead…yet alive

the weekend was wasted.  mostly, but not all.  saturday was a joy - movie & dinner and too much shopping with a neighborfriend.  we were like 2 canaries let out of the cage.  poor Henry had to wait alone for The Longest Wait Ever since he moved here.
sunday, i mostly did nothing…i just stayed in bed till i HAD to get up, ran some very quick errands and went back to snooze on the couch.  what the heck?? i've been feeling like there's this great Before And After chasm.  you know what i mean.  and that things After should be easy and wonderful, that my Grand Purpose will appear and be fulfilled.  but that won't happen on the couch, eh?  and i got this wonderful email from Patricia Baldwin Seggebruch - who is always tapped in to my heart, it seems - and it said the exact words below, and i realized that it truly is time to Live The Dream…to put IT into action…to move forward with what i've known should be my purpose.  I have a strong assurance that there is a woman coming to me to help.  I have peace in my heart and perhaps am being too hard on myself for resting a day…there's just so much to do, to enjoy, to experience…to fly like a canary.  and now to Trish's words:

I died to the person I was

before.

This is the story I am telling….

How alive am I, today?

How full

big

real

alive

is my

after?