This morning, i woke very very early, with a warm cuddly ball curled tight against me. we both went for a potty break, then decided it was an excellent day to go back to bed. so we did. despite Henry's urging to stay put, we finally got out of bed around 7:30, and i had a steaming mug of coffee on the new patio. i'd forgotten how much i missed sitting outside in the quiet coolness, before the world wakes up. such a perfect way to start the day. today, i think some new patio furniture is on the agenda. I think some nice, big Adirondack chairs with comfy cushions in Teal and Orange. And a small table for coffee and a book. I've been reading cookbooks to beat the band, and want to cook it all! Am planning a Williams Sonoma trip this week, just to drool. Being the only one around makes it a shorter trip, though, because i hate to leave Hen alone too long. he gets sad. so i'm off to work on a commission for a reliquary. I'm so loving these. feel honored to create these sacred remembrances.
i saw the word "shenpa" here, and followed the daisy trail of links to this:
Shenpa is a Tibetan word meaning “attachment” (and we know what the Second Noble Truth has to say about that!) but PemaChodron often describes shenpa as “being hooked.”
What normally accompanies shenpa is a desperate urge to alleviate the shaky feeling that’s arisen by engaging in a particular behavior we hope will bring about some relief. So we scramble to produce something pleasurable that can counteract the extreme sense of unease and discomfort that makes us want to bolt away or disappear.
It tends to happen very suddenly and without warning, and when it’s happening it’s as if we’re being visited once again by one of our least favorite people in the world, someone we’ve been acquainted with for a long, long time. Too long in fact.
You know you’re experiencing shenpa when you have an almost uncontrollable urge to run away from what’s going on right now. The wanting-to-run feeling is an instinctual reaction to an otherwise innocuous sense of groundlessness and unease. This uneasiness arises whenever something takes place that makes us feel as if one of our buttons has been pushed and we’ve been exposed somehow. And while this wide-openness and vulnerability is in fact nothing to be afraid of, it feels so unnerving when we resist it that our brains search desperately for ways to quench the flames that arise from our fearful and doubtful minds.
Which rings clear and true.