Saturday, May 03, 2014
it has been A Week. i've felt rather like a dodgeball, being kicked around. so many good things, then bang! flat out. my fibro has been a mess, which is probably due to stress…new/old job starts monday. i feel like i have so much to do to get ready, and still so much i want to do before my time gets chewed up by training. i bought some beautiful table coverings - Tiffany blue butterfly placemats with yellow jacquard tablecloth, to go with my antique dishes, and new Tiffany blue ones. Big dinner planned tomorrow with PSD and her boyfriend tomorrow required much prep today. a text about an hour ago let me know he couldn't make it. no reason given. so $170 worth of food could have been reduced by quite a bit, had I known 3 hours earlier. just felt like a kick in the gut, and with husband gone all day and likely till late tonight, i feel so so lonesome. and like my time - my last few free days - have been squandered. just bitching and moaning. and i apologize. it was that kind of week. a person i had put some trust in, turns out to be a lunatic. quite a lot was based on this person, and then bam! I don't know if i'd feel this strongly about starting a different job - if this is intuition, or if it's just my body rebelling against the very early hours and constant on-the-run i'll need. i need a nap now, but don't want to waste time but don't have anything else to do. what a twist, eh? and to think people have real problems.
at 4:24 PM