a Tiny description

a full time artist, stepmother, radio personality, and mom to an energetic Chug dog, tries to get through the days without committing a felonious act. My life is a rickety Zen circus.

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Sunday, April 29, 2012

seen on a t-shirt:  I will protect this house.

5 words.  got me thinking as i shopped for larger size pants, feeling not-so-great about it but realizing it was inevitable since i am down to 2 1/2 cigs (tops) for the past few days.  i pictured my body as the house that needed protection.  from what?  from being bullied, and told it was ugly and not quite good enough and should be ignored or needed to be shoved into Spanx and worked and sweat and contorted until it fit "the" definition of what was good and beautiful and acceptable - even to me.  protect this house.  and then i thought how cool it was to have a "new" house (my new size) and how i get to decorate the new house.  and it was all good.
yes - i do plan to walk more, and yes, i do plan to try zumba, and yes, i do plan to ride my bike more.  but i do not plan to un-love my "house," my temple.  i plan to become more active because i can now breathe, and want to be more active.  i can express my dance mojo through zumba or modern dance or salsa dance.  i have been every size from a 0 to 14.  i felt healthiest at a size 6-8.  it is likely that single digit pant sizes are a memory.  but i tell you this - i will not be defined by my size or my age or any other "restriction of acceptable beauty" that anyone dares to put on me.  do not make me come there and have a conversation.  i will not call myself fat, i will not call myself overweight.  those are measurements of standards that belong to someone else.  I AM. what has always mattered most me was Who You Are in the world, to the world...and that will matter most to me as long as i take breath (newly fresh breath).  I rarely notice a person's size or physical attributes when i meet them...more the vibe they give off, and the kindness they show.
Protect your house.  from outside bullies.  And inside bullies.
Love that t-shirt.

1 comment:

Kelley said...

You go girl!! I feel the same way, tho the girl inside that's been called "fat" before has a tendency to argue. Still, it's definitely a battle worth fighting!