this video just says it to me. and then i got to thinking about dreams and wishes and realities and lies you tell yourself and fears and stopping yourself before the light turns red or letting someone else stop you (which is really the same thing if you think about it, it's just the finger points the other way) and steppng into space without a net. and today i had long overdue conversation with gailwhonevercalls. first let me say that the conversation, or this post is in NO WAY pointed at sweet jengray. not even a little. it was just her video that started a chain of thought that led other places. we got talking about how some people put up a facade of "everythings groovy" and it's all peace and bliss. there's nothing wrong with peace and bliss...in fact, show me the line, and i'll have an extra side with that, please. but our convo centered more around the ones - you know who they are - who seem to know how to tell everyone else what they shou;d do to succeed, and every note or blog post is from candyland making you think that maybe you are just the losingist grumpiest glass-half-empty person on this green earth. (and yes, in case you wondered, i AM procrastinating my project right now). but to only share the good, great, better, best is not fair. there a few kinds of blogs...those that are more of a way to advertise your product, service, etc, and direct people to your etsy shop or ebay listing. another is more of a meeting place for people with similar interests. another is...well, you get the idea. there's nothing wrong with any of them, not that anyone asked me. i don't know how to explain my point (and i do have one) (for a change)without a good friend thinking i mean her. i don't - this is in general and not about ANY one. just because you have a blog, it doesn't mean you have to open every secret door of your life. but to bar the doors, and make it seem as though it would be just so easy for me to have your success simply by doing xyz, well, that's like saying God didn't heal someone because they didn't have enough faith (former former church) or something equally absurd. so many voices these days yelling "caution" and an equal number pushing and begging people to "follow your bliss." i believe the truth resides somewhere in the middle, and is at a different place for each person. everyone has a different tolerance for risk, and a different tolerance for mediocrity. i currently live a mediocre life. i'm aware of it. i embrace it. there are huge swatches of brillance that will slam into it and trail through like the tail on a comet. then i need a rest. and when i say a mediocre life - not as in a sadly under-optioned existance barely taking breath. no - i mean i live in a way that i would like to change, will change, but am content with for now, knowing that i can build what i need to get to that comet-tail of a life, or i can choose to take a leap at the galaxy and grab the shining end of it. my tolerance for risk is not what it was 20-30 years ago when hitchiking was a perfect means of transport if you were unable, for whatever reason, to properly operate a vehicle yourself. or borrowing mom's car to go to a party lakeside in a foreign country (well, canada) with a bunch of drunken hockey players. no. i have those stories and memories to have and hold, but when i'm dealing with my real grown-up life, i need to see a bit more fine print. so although i HAD a point, i went off on a transient tangent as usual. okay - my point, which may or may not still be pertinent - don't tell me to grab my fairy dust and take a leap at my dreams when you are secretly living off a trust fund that allows the same risk that could potentially send someone else to an attic apartment recently vacated by some crackhead in a part of town that isn't even on glossy maps at the gas station just an area marked with a skull and crossbones. am i an optimist? yes i truly am. cautiously, like my uncle samuel. i just don't feel like i know what's best for YOU, so if you ask, you may get a reasonable answer, or an uncle samuel shrug. so back to the blog thing. if i gave advice, which i don't, i would say be careful what you take in. do what feels right for y-o-u...what rings true for you where you are right now. read some fine print. if you're 20-ish, forget everything i just said and take a flying leap at your dreams. seriously. i mean, if not NOW, then when?? for godssake - you don't have a mortgage or credit card bills up the ying yang...no kids grabbing your paycheck. good lord - just re-read this post and you'll know why NOW is the time. before you get old and grumpy. or satisfied with mediocrity striped with greatness. grab it all and demand more. fill your basket and wish you brought a wagon. now go - take a leap. git. L.