ok i get it...i get it! for 2 weeks now, every time i turn around, the word "legacy" is smacking me in the face. Legacy. and it's around this time that i start thinking about my Word For The Year, which in turn becomes a meditation of the year past and the year to come. i've learned to choose my word carefully, in the way i have become careful about what i wish for. but Legacy it will be. and in my family, a nice girl's day out could be anything from a pedicure to funeral planning for sport and preparedness. we're a crazy group of wild women. well, group, not so much - just me & mom. but the lineage (oh - the legacy) is there, so we carry the spirit of those who have gone before us....a nervous, prepared bunch, as it turns out. in fact, as i chortle at my mom's still-full pantry (uber packages of Ramen noodles for Y2K..."so how were you planning to cook them, anyway, ma?) i realize that i have boxes of BandAids...many boxes. and Purel. in case an epidemic of paper cuts breaks out, no doubt. it's just one of those things that i always wonder if we're out of, so i pick it up. and it turns out - we will never be out of either product. (back up - remember Y2K?) ok. so i took a look at my mother's life, the parts i admired, and the parts that make my teeth grind. and guess what i found? yup. my own self. (but older of course, and without all the noodles). funny about that. what a legacy is left. and don't get me wrong, she was picked as my mom for a reason, do tell, but it does make a person itch a bit like wet wool. well, not a person - this person. which brought me back to the checkered flag of legacy. so much has happened in the past few days...mercury in retrograde? maybe. full moon? who knows. but like a werewolf peeling out of his skin and growing to become something entirely else, so have i. and have not been without my werewolf moments. this must be what a chick feels like as it tries to peck through that egg to get out. ya gotta think at some point, it's going "peckpeck, peckpeck. alright already! where's the damn air? the sky? food? let me out of here!" or so i imagine. and i have been (forever) moving toward that fresh air and open sky, but really now, how long can a chick stay in that rotty shell? step out fortheloveofgod. i have been doing the hokey pokey with any/all decisions in my life for so long, even I can't stand to listen to myself. (so i thank you for your endless listening skills). time to cowboy up, take a step and keep moving. i have a strong intuition about a few things. and that enormous feeling hits me, unbidden and apropos of nothing, often. and in order for the sequence of events to begin their charmed domino dance, i must get myself ready. so, to quote my friend Christine, Today: Begin.