this morning, while i wasted some time waiting for my turn in the shower, i happen to pull up my sidebar of bookmarks on my Big Girl Computer.  I feel such distance from the place/person that sunk in deep to some of the art blogs and websites.  I'm afraid that it would physically hurt to look at them.  my latest piece sits gathering dust on my worktable…i am unable to approach it.  i hesitated to post here at all today, given my recent state of mind and heart, but didn't want you to think i'd abandoned this space.  so many blogs have been left untended for so so many months…what's going on with the blog world?  too slow?  has twitter now defined our attention span?  well, anyway…
Henry continues to steal my heart…he is my sunshine and moondust, and keeps my feet here.  somedays literally.  and Purrl watches, a bit closer these days, even snuggling on the bed at night. i won't lie - this is hard.  harder than childbirth, which has a end point in sight.  i am not living life gracefully and fully.  and having had a summer of graceful fullness, with plans to build tiny's and beehives and gardens and all sorts of joyful noise, i feel like the plug has been pulled in a giant drain.  now you see why i hesitated to post?  lovely, uplifting thoughts on this monday morning.  but it would not be authentic to only write about the happy wonderful moments.  I remember reading a blog for about a year, thinking "why can't i have that life??" After a long conversation with the writer, i realized she had the same good/bad/ugly that everyone has - she just didn't want anyone to think her life was anything but wonderful…she lives in a UnBeLiEvAbLe house on the water, and never gives a 2nd thought to a budget or expenses, etc.  She felt it would be anti-grateful to reveal her bad stuff.  duh.  she had set the bar so high for the rest of us, that we couldn't possibly compare our best Best and come up a winner winner chicken dinner. so i share the good/bad/ugly/hard/easy…all that stuff.  maybe i'm wrong to, but it is my blog, after all.  :)
so bring it Monday.  just bring it…bronchitis, no sick days, snow, cold…all of it, Monday…knock me down and i'll keep getting up because, Monday?  You don't own me.  I have places to go and things to do.  And Monday?  I have Strength, and an Advocate that can kick your ass back to last wednesday.  Just ask Thursday.