don't believe it!

Reports that I've abandoned this space are simply not true.  Well, actually, there haven't been any such reports, but I bet you suspected. Nope.  Just trying to find balance.  it's a tricky thing.  if you've ever tried to spin a ball on your finger, or a plate, or a few plates…that's what I'm talking about.  And it's all of my own doing, i know.  there are so many Things To Grab…too many opportunities to Not Pass Up…it's a harmonic convergence of sweet summer weather, and the freedom to choose.  and i've chosen it all.  so, something had to slip past me, and i'm afraid it was this blog.  but now, as the weather chills a bit, and the rainy days begin, and the leaves begin to find soft landing on the ground, now i feel myself begin to cocoon a bit…feeling slightly annoyed at a dinner party tonight, when normally i'd be celebrating the kinship around the table.  tonight i needed to melt a bit.  but there will be time for that later, and tomorrow.  having run all my errands today, i'll have tomorrow to do as i please, save for packing for my week in the woods.  Henry has more than plenty women to watch over him this week, and will likely be even more spoiled when i return.  i have my eye set on an artist grant, and am hoping it comes through.  details later.  Today i found a fantastic buffet/server…mahogany…and very similar to one i remember from growing up.  just some random thoughts.
this year, i have pushed myself to some very scary places in the name of adventure and comraderie…i've jumped over the abyss many times and always landed well…i've learned that there really is no such thing as a dragon - just a galoof with a lot of hot air…and no such thing as a Big Scary - only a bunch of little scaries standing on each others' shoulder under a giant coat…plink plink plink one at a time and they're gone.  but there is indeed such a thing as friends, deep in the heart and willing to swim with you and laugh hysterically with you and breathe well with you.  even in Ikea.  oh - and i learned that there is magic - yes!  and it may leave, but it always returns, because your magic is as much a part of you as brown eyes.  i have learned so much this year.  and i want to share it all.  and i will, but in bits.  but right now, i need to get dinner started for friends who will sit around my table and break bread and laugh and watch movies…share a cup with me tonight…as i raise my glass, i'll have you twinkling in my eye, and beating in my heart.  thank you.