for my birthday, my brother & sister-in-law got me some magic.  It looks like a book called "You Only Live Once," but it is actually magic contained in a big, beautiful book with luscious pictures, dreams and possibilities. the premise of the book is to present wildly imaginable and fantastical things to do if you have a certain amount of time… an hour, a day, a week, etc.  And they range from taking a dance lesson to making a raft etc.  But not just a dance lesson or a raft…a dance lesson in, say, Cuba.  a Life Raft built within a 6-day adventure, Huck Finn style, in another country I can't recall right now.
They gave me the book at my most recent epic birthday gathering, and i opened then & there and began to crack open within myself…remembering that dreams can come true….remembering that, although i won't be watching eagles in Alaska or Helsinki soon, I can get up early and watch the eagles right down the street from me in the DEC wooded super secret area.  Or I can promise myself to get up early on a sunday morning a few times a month and go snowshoeing at Beaver Lake, then enjoy some hot chocolate by the fire.  In short, the book fed the embers that were dying down a bit.  it has been close to 2 months since then, and my thoughts have focused on my husband leaving…how will i live?  how will I get medical care?  how will i buy groceries?  Where will I live?  every thought imaginable.  But today - Valentine's day - i picked up The Book again, to read while i was having breakfast. (i have to read while i eat breakfast!) And the magic raced out of the book, swirled around my heart, and once again made me realize how small i was focusing…all macro instead of fish eye.  and my heart expanded as my dreams woke up once again.  and i can't stop smiling.
i have a passport with no stamps.  that is a great sadness. the world is so big and interesting…i need to find my way somewhere.