i'm taking an online class with Juliette Crane, and at the top of today's lesson, there are a few quotes that resonate:

Any way you want it to be, that’s just right. -Bob Ross
We have to continually be jumping off cliffs and developing our wings on the way down. -Kurt Vonnegut


Yesterday, i went to see my counselor, who said, among other things "he doesn't deserve you."  i appreciate the sentiment.  i agree.  but what a strange-o moment.  I'm getting to the place where i am pretty much done with the "helping" profession.  having gone to a counselor on and off for many years as i attempt to trounce PTSD,  and also with husband for marriage counseling, i realize that they are basically being paid to listen.  period.  or to watch you argue with your spouse.  every so often, a word of encouragement is offered, but really, since i've been paying attention, there hasn't been much else offered.  i'm not sure what i expected, but it was ….more.  there was one woman i saw who had huge brass balls.  and she spoke her mind and told you how she felt and was gentle with your emotions in a no-nonsense way.  she said her goal was to not have you sitting in front of her every week forever.  she wanted you up and out of "care" and skipping on your own two feet.  i adored her, and her little office by the river.  sadly, she passed away.  a few weeks before she died, she asked me if i had left him yet.  i said no, and she said that was a shame.
but moving ahead….