i feel like digging a hole and climbing in.  with some good tea and fluffy comforters, of course.  yesterday i received unofficial word that i did not get the job i spent 3+ hours interviewing for.  it was a job that i dared hope for, and felt confident that i would be 1 of 10 people added to their rosters.  yesterday, i got a text from a friend who is a supervisor there saying she heard they hired everyone and did i get notified?  i hadn't.  and it was just.so.disheartening.  I re-ran the entire interview in my head, and can't imagine i was anything but exactly what they want.  a fact i know, because i worked there for so many years before.  why call me in, unless there was a chance?  and my test scores were high.  so much so that i officially give up.  i don't understand this…a person with my qualifications should not be turned down or ignored from every job they apply for …for the past 18 months.  my husband's ex was a headhunter and said there is a bias among employers regarding older workers.  i would never have believed it.  but i do now.  experience is not a hot commodity in today's job market.
but i can't take the rejection from employers, and the rejection at home at the same time.  it is too overwhelming.  so i will curl up and hide for a while…maybe make some more artwork, maybe not.  just lick my wounds for a bit, get my sense of Self back, then re-emerge and kick some more ass.  meanwhile, include me in your thoughts and prayers, please.