today, I have tubs and tubs and tubs of art supplies to find nooks and crannies for in my home studio.  husband stopped at the Big Girl studio with me yesterday after mothers day brunch, and we loaded up his van.  i've been so excited to load up the new cart, and fit in my stencils and other supplies into specially designed shelves!
I woke up with that Christmas feeling, but it soon hit the dumps -  I spent the morning applying online for jobs and sending out emails to prospective bosses.  on one hand, i have such a huge studio task before me that it's a full time job in itself.  on the other hand, there are so many opportunities i want to take advantage of (travel-wise, workshop-wise) but can't unless i grow some cash.  I have strong confidence that everything will be as it should, and that keeps me from sinking too low.  Meanwhile, I will keep my ears & eyes open, as I continue to work on my studio.  I will say that i have reversed my thoughts on age discrimination...I am finding that longer work experience counts for nothing.  That people see an older worker and think they'll be slow and stupid and unreliable.  especially if they are heavy.  and that is sad.  i do have 1 absolutely positive example, and it shocked me.
I sent a followup email to my former employer - the one that said i always had an open door there?  the one that has been advertising for help in the exact department i was working in?  I guess they (once again) filled the position internally.  America, don't make me lose faith.
ok - back to the studio sorting.  maybe some tunes cranked up will help me out of this cloudy mood.