monday's post #2

yes - still sitting at this desk.  In my pj's.  and it's almost time to start planning dinner.
yesterday was a push/pull of magic and emotions...we set out to an art exhibit in a nearby town, but i knew husband was just.wanting.to.see.a.boat.for.sale.  all like that.  so we changed course.  because i insisted.  and of course, we found The Perfect Boat.  of course.  well, mostly perfect.  the estimate he had on costs was quite a bit off.  and he is still having to pay for a loan he co-signed that has been defaulted on, soon to be joined by a second loan of the same ilk.  i know this is rubbing his insides raw, and i can't stop it.  it is as infuriating to me, with the added bonus of knowing this was a loan we agreed to absolutely not co-sign.  and he did.  so anyway - back to the magic.  Magic!  i thought The Perfect Boat was named "Magic," however it was something similar - i misread the paint.  the day was warm and a slight breeze from the south made it awesome.  we got some off-the-diet-by-a-lonshot food and ate near the lake, listening to the waves shush into the shore. such a beautiful day, following an evening filled with bonfires and neighbors and sweet re-establishing of friendships hidden in the winter snow.  funny neighborhood - all spring & summer, we gather around bonfires, kids toasting marshmallows and shrieking with the pure joy of being up past bedtime...dogs run free, running in circles around the cul-de-sac.  with the snow, we all retreat indoors...waving as we pass in our cars, but not really gathering.  Saturday was our first seasonal bonfire, and we had the added bonus of new neighbors - with kids!  there is something so lively about having a street full of children playing together like wild ponies.  the weekend brought a few tears when i realized my freedom to pick-up-and-go boat shopping or to stay out around a bonfire without watching the clock - this came at a price.  i no longer needed to make arrangements for someone to watch my diva.  husband knew where my thoughts would turn from time to time, and he let me have my moment while he hugged me.  yes, this is the same husband.  so.

a cousin's child has been given the archives of family photos from my beloved uncle who sold his house to live in a swanky senior place.  the pictures are being added to a photo page, and i check it everyday for new images.  so much comes rushing back, that's it's difficult to look sometimes.  i miss my father and wish i could have more time with him.  i miss the loss of family connections so very much.  and that's all i can say for now, i think.  there aren't words - just deep emotions.

so before i have you in tears, i should eat lunch and go finish my collage.

bye for now.