random shots - post 2

this one has been insistent at my feeder - sitting on the top of the hook staring in the window at me for 5 minutes or more, once or twice flying at the window...what is his message?

and in case you missed her....

it's already hot & humid today...time to head into work!

50 feet is a lot of space to fill! Thank you, Caroleena, for making it all flow. some highlights...2 more days... Dupioni silk, hand-dyed...

the rest, mixed media paintings...

from Tony Robbins

I think gratitude is the most spiritual and most important emotion of them all. It's the antidote to the two things that stop us which are fear and anger. Fear is why we don't take action and anger is why we get stuck. You can't be grateful and angry simultaneously, so it's really the reset button. It's the cleaner of the soul. What it does when you are grateful, 'It's no longer about me, right?' It's really about giving thanks, and when you are giving thanks, you disappear and when you disappear, I believe you reconnect to the divine."

satan's pencils

I forgot what i was looking for when i went browsing through the buffet of Craigslist the other day, but whatever it was - it was not for a hookup with one of satan's minions. but the lure of cheapity cheap art supplies can sometimes cause a girl to lose her sensibility. and there they were - these were the motherload of cheapity cheap art supplies. oodles of pencils and Pitt pens and untold numbers of markers and rulers and calipers and Just Things. THINGS! and the kicker - all in a nice handy dandy case with a handle. yes. and y'all know what a sucker i am for tote bags and sterlite containers and tupperware and all manner of organizational containers. in fact, the Container Store called, and asked about their inventory. (that was a lie). (and please note that my studio & home are cluttered to the rafters with these items. not used yet. but someday. maybe. i just love how they all look fit together, and imagine things nicely organized with M&M's in one, and those candy necklaces in another, etc etc). so i clicked to respond. oh - how much? $25.00 yes twenty five dollars for a cartload of pens, pencils, and all aforementioned confetti. a design student, finished with school, and apparently finished with design or else why sell the tools of your trade? and despite the fact that the ad was about a week old, glorious luck would have it that these self-same items were still available. praise Jesus. (or "Chee-suhssah" as my former pastor used to say). ah-ha! you say. any sensible girl would run run run. alas, she would. but a tingle of sense intact, i suggest we meet at the gallery at a certain time & day. no reply. no show. i re-reply that perhaps there was a better day?? hello?? "yeah sometime sunday would be fine. I live in (a certain) area." hmmm. 4 years of college and that's the best you can come up with, pencil seller? so i name a second time & place - public, and within the area where the minion lives. no response, but i figure i'll head there, as it's a nice day, and husband is watching some racecar thing and overdrinking (i married a hillbilly, and there are just times when being apart is better on my blood pressure and his longevity). plus, i have to pick up stepper from the airport nearby, as she is returning from a cruise somewhere exotic and overdrinking. i wait. 10 minutes late. 15 minutes late. still too early to head to the airport and overpay to let my car sit idle in a slot. at 20 minutes, i start to fidgit with my phone and decide to google his name. now, i'm not one to judge, but if this kid intends to work in the world inhabited by the living at any time, he'd best be advised to restrict his facebook page. because anyone can look up his name and go into the gaping maw of his head to see that design does not figure heavily into his list of favorites. satan worship? check. music to make your ears bleed? check. all manner of goth dress and blood and sacrifice? checkity check check. i threw it into "drive" and drove. even if there were actual pens and pencils and markers in an amazing handled carrier that had cantilevering little compartments spilling over with eye candy, even if, they would be cursed. of this i am sure. i do not need that in my life, any more than i need more of my own life in my life. too-da-loo and good bye. so i went to the airport, dejected and still wondering if there were markers.

very excited about a visit from this lovely...a taste of Squamlove, right in my own livingroom!

Flying Woman..... For a long time, she flew only when she thought no one else was watching....(from Brian Andreas, StoryPeople). sorry - blogger still isn't spacing things, so here's a cue: NEW TOPIC..... YES! I'm going here: but today - a BIGGER big ass panel to paint. after working in 6x6 for so long, 8x8 seemed big and scary. now, 36x48 is just getting warmed up. bigger thoughts, i guess, or maybe louder. anyway, looking forward to a webinar at 1pm with my girl MB Shaw. Her book - have you seen it yet?? I'm on my 4th drool-through, and haven't gotten around to really reading the actual words...the pictures are too a-mazing! ok - off to paint before the heat closes me down... Fly, I tell you, Fly!

great ME day...visits with 2 galleries produced requests from both for work (!)...nice lunch out...art supply splurge...diva home...dinner at my favorite diner with husband...plans for a real, true vacation for us TOGETHER...plans for lunch with my best (and only) brother...hmmm, wonder if i can squeeze out 1 more faux ME day?

i am still in runaway mode tee-hee. i love this sense of freedom. i know it isn't forever (unless i win the lottery tonight) but it has been so restful and awesome getting back to center. i know there are natural obligations in the "real" day-to-day life i've chosen - diva duty, laundry, etc., but to escape from it all for a while, make great art, eat when i'm hungry, sleep when i'm tired....it has been restorative. this morning, i took a shower with the lights out in the bathroom, a Special Candle lit on the vanity, and the door closed to anything with 4-legs that might catch their whiskers on fire. i set the human carwash jets on "gentle" rather than the usual "Get This Shampoo Out Of My Hair Quick So I Can Get My Day Going." it was peaceful and wonderful and such a gentle birthing to the day. I still have 1 more panel to paint, but decided to get outside today instead...gallery visits, lake shore, flea markets. husband & diva come home sometime today, but i will savor the last few hours of ME time. i highly recommend running away from home.

so far....

a very productive morning, as I let my body re-find it's natural rhythm...awake just as the birds began to stretch their wings, i wrapped a Very Special shawl around my shoulders, and filled my coffee mug in the kitchen...a bit of food for bulimia cat, then out to the back deck to spend quiet time with the earth and watch the reward of the sunrise...walking with intentional deliberateness - slowly, feeling grass, then wood, then carpet on my feet...more coffee, and to the studio in my pj's under an apron...sitting on the floor looking up at the canvases in progress...kitty tucked into herself at my side...in the semi-darkness of the studio, inspiration starts firing in my blood...now, lights on...brushes...spatulas...gesso...sweet conversations with paint...kirtan turns to Regina Spektor turns to Mary J and Hendrix...so far, not a bad day at 9am....

From Stephanie Lee: If there is this place in your mind where you are free of all the weight that you have felt burdened by and in that place you are fully alive, confident, loving, allowing, kind, compassionate, trusting, bold and all of the other ways of being you can imagine for yourself... ...and if you feel like there is much work to do to be there, that there are too many things "in your way", parts of you that need fixing, pain or stuck ideas that need releasing before you can be there... ...it just occurred to me that the energy put into fixing and trying to release might be better used in practicing the opposite. I mean, if you practiced enough the being fully alive, confident, loving, allowing, kind, compassionate, trusting, bold and all of the other ways of being you can imagine for yourself, pretty soon it would be easier to be that than to be forever trying to fix yourself, forever believing that the pain or stuck ideas need to be released first. You don't need to wear yourself out trying to fix a false-flawed self. Take a breather in the practice of being totally okay. In this moment. Now. (does your mind start to explain itself? does it try to justify the discomfort?) Bless your heart. Bless all our beautiful hearts. The morning showers outside in the early sunrise are stirring up the deep thinking parts of me that want to be totally satisfied with exquisite beauty of each moment and the possibility (reality) that I am an integral part of that. *****(for some reason, Blogger refuses to space paragraphs. sorry) NEW TOPIC***************************** Today, I ran away from home. sort of. husband is out of town...I dropped Diva off at Camp Grandma's...bulimia cat wants a pet before bedtime, his/her food, and then just go away stinky human. My plan: the Megabus at 1am to NYC...MoMA...tea in Brooklyn...more tea in Brooklyn...the Highline. the original thought was to snag the last bus home, at 7:30-ish pm, but then i decided to stay over and actually fit everything in. maybe 3 days. maybe forever. but definitely 2 days. Mom went nearly hysterical with fear that her daughter (i am still 12 in her eyes) was going to NEW YORK CITY all by herself. hysterical in the psychotic way, not the ha-ha way. she apparently called anyone she felt could influence me away from this absolute leap of insanity, begging them to talk me out of it. she even revoked her dogsitting services at one point. i had no idea of the drama going on behind the scenes (and offer my sincerest apologies on her behalf if you were sucked into the swirl). at least we know where i get it. as it turned out, OTHER circumstances made the trip impossible, but circumstance that was good and balanced. but i dropped diva off anyway, needing a day or two to myself. and i realized how long it had been since i did have a day with no obligations...and even better - two in a row! i've gessoed 3 panels in preparation for a paint fest tomorrow, and have 3 other pieces i'm working on that make me happy. i can sleep/wake/sleep whenever i want, without having to be responsible for walking a woken dog, or explaining to husband why i'm up at 3am. i am ecstatic! and husband being one of the people on the early morning call list, has promised that we will pick a date and go for a vacation together, rather than these separate jaunts we've evolved. so it's good. real good. i have one of the panels set up in the garage, waiting on the promised rain for tomorrow, and excited about painting and watching the rain...smelling it wash the earth...hearing it pound onto the pavement and rush through the leaves of the Japanese Maple out front. so i'm off to my staycation, but don't tell anyone i'm here!

I'm drinking spiced tea from a beautiful teacup, given to me by a dearheart a little over a week ago. it seems like i dreamt that we had an afternoon of food and shopping and just being women. last night, not much sleep, as diva was not inclined to sleep on the floor and whined and carried on until husband put her on the bed. then she couldn't seem to get comfortable and continued pawing at me, till i took her down to the couch for the rest of the night (morning?). Today was my art show reception, and i stood talking to people about the work, and accepted their compliments and questions, feeling genuine and bona fide and certain. This evening I face a mountain of dishes left undone, a request from husband to help clear out the garage, special preparations of dog dinner - hiding the meds she refuses under a careful blanket of chicken gravy and turkey coldcuts and dog food, replaying the day and wondering about all the faces i have worn in the past 24 hours...24 days...24 years...tonight as i prepared a special dog dinner, and wondered how long i could put off doing dishes, i wondered which of the realities i had lived in the past 24 hours 24 days 24 years were Me? the song Baby I Was Born This Way inexplicably threaded through my head as a backdrop...and i knew that, yes, i was born that way - to change faces and realities and focus throughout the day without so much as a blur of a line of demarcation, a skill passed down from mothers to daughters born at a certain time in history. and i wondered also, how many women of my age do this on a regular basis? how many women of my age wonder which, if any, of the faces they wear every day...every week...every year are their true bare bold faces? how many women my age wonder if it's right to hope for more, or different? if it's okay to take the first bite, or to leave dishes stacked till someone else does them, like they were left for them? to claim their first place, surefooted identity, and know it is as important and vital as any other? and i wondered how many women my age feel like they just want a day when they can sit with a cup of spiced tea in a beautiful teacup, and for One Whole Day...be.

yes. it has been a Crazy Day. yes - with a capital "C" and "D" and marked on the calendar to avoid next year. and we knew this was coming, right? after post #1, any reasonable person would've said "Girl go back to bed and save the damage," but noooo - i cross into the red zone like a tasmanian devil. i went 26.5 hours without smoking, and by the .5 was a M-E-S-S...ready to scream shrilly at anything that dared cross the lazer beam of my sight. and having a very high maintenance dog to care for just wasn't a good mix. i actually drove to the Megabus, planning to go stay in NYC for a while, but changed my mind and re-decided to stay here and make everyone else miserable. i am truly not loving this. a tiny, pea-sized cell cluster in my brain knows it's the Chantix that's making me crazy and depressed beyond depressed. but the rest of my head is feeling it as if it was real. how do heroin addicts kick? a friend of mine was a rehab nurse and told me once that it was harder to get off heroin than cigarettes. i don't have experience with heroin, but i have to say that this go-round is not for the faint of heart. my apologies to anyone i may have sucked into the vortex in the past few days. it does seem like the cravings are gone totally if my mind is totally focused on something - a painting, a book, TV. so i spent some time at Barnes & Noble today and whipped out the credit card for some retail therapy. now, i'm waiting for diva to get bored listening to me type, so she'll fall asleep in her closet, and not want up on the bed. the problem with her on the bed, is that at some point in the night, she'll want to get off the bed, and will break her neck with the cone of shame on. I've been sleeping on the couch with her the past few nights, but honestly, i want my bed. (although i've been such a honey badger all day, husband would be thrilled if i slept on the couch. in fact, he may chose to). i'm hoping for a better day tomorrow. I'll be at my art show from noon - 3pm, and will have to make nice, so maybe it'll stick. my mother-in-law and 5 of her friends are coming, so anything can happen. okay - i think i heard puppy snores from the magic palace in the closet, so i can finally hit the hay. do not ever smoke. don't.

post #2 - need some drama in your life?

the truth?

the truth...hmm...do i dare put it in print? ahh, you know, i've always been open here. so, the truth: i feel like i'm "support staff." Chief cook and bottle washer, as mom used to say. my days are routine and heavily filled with taking care of other people ( 2-legged and 4-legged). the cat vomit is left for the maid, the coffee doesn't get made unless the cook makes it, diva's special food/medicine mix gets made up by the vet tech, the laundry - well, you get the idea. and the thing of it is that i would gladly do all this if there was some acknowledgement...some payoff...some moments of being made to feel Special. that's the very heart of the matter, i think. and i've thought about it a lot. not that i'm not grateful to live where i live, and have the financial support that i do, i would live Less if it meant having More...More time carved out to go away for a weekend or even a day...i am feeling sensory underload, and need to fill that part of me that twangs and hums with possibility and hears music and translates it into paintings...i planned a NYC runaway with my brother last week, but diva had her vet appointment, and is now high maintenance. she is literally at my heels every second, and while i feel badly for her (as only a dog-momma can) i am up to my own collar in frustration. i do not know how housewives in the 50's and back yonder did it. God knew what He was doing when he had me born in an era where i have expectations about how my life should be - if not on a daily basis, at least quarterly. it will be 2 weeks before diva is off her meds, so until then, i'll have to putter close to home. but for the love of god - if you're in my area, please call! i will buy lunch. in fact, call anyway, no matter where you are. i know this sounds pathetic, and it isn't quite as depressing in the minute by minute living of it, and i know somehow chantix is involved in the truly dark moments, so i grit my teeth through them, but i need to be with/chat with people who speak my language. now. i need to feel like a singular person, and not Support Staff. now. i need to remember my thoughts and opinions and likes and dislikes and sense of humor and sense of curiosity and sense of wonder and see new things and taste new tastes...i need an intervention from my life as it currently is. i need to win a contest where you get a clone. or a trip to Paris. Need - not want. these are the truths i feel this morning.

I don't want another opportunity to learn & grow, she said. I just want to eat crackers & watch Oprah & pet my cat. -Brian Andreas, StoryPeople...... Last night, after the Great Pill Rodeo with Diva, I took myself to the art store. I needed it. I deserved it. I needed to smell the smells that only an art store has. and see people with multi-colored hands and glazed eyes and feel the goosebumps when i look at the Golden display. i threw caution to the wind and bought a LAC (large ass canvas), a new spatula/trowel thingie, and a bunch o' things i likely could live without, but don't want to. i was in honey badger mode. when Mary The Fairest was here visiting for a nanosecond last week, we bought matching bracelets at this boutique (i know, right? "so queer" as we used to say in the dark ages) and both bought the same perfume (which is intoxicating "smell me!" i say to my boss, "don't i smell good??"). i was wearing both, plus my new capris and shirt. and the rolex. i say this because i was in the frame of mind where i needed to feel safe and untroubled by sick diva dogs and friends and art shows and money and whatever. just for a few hours, i wanted it to be about me. at first i felt selfish - leaving the diva to figure out the collar-of-shame. and thought maybe i'd spent quite enough money in the past few days. but that was spent on need, rather than want. and i needed to spend on want last night. and a large ass canvas was about as good as it got! i don't feel the least bit regretful or spoiled or selfish, either. an old boyfriend's mother taught me well. she said that "if you are doing doing doing for others, you have to Have to Have to take time for yourself...be indulgent, be wasteful, be or do something that will make you smile...buy a new lipstick or pedicure or wardrobe or fly somewhere just for the day and have lunch." (i stayed with this guy 2 years longer than i should have, just because i loved his mother so much. still do). (and love her lunches!). so i bought art supplies and took myself out for dinner. i came home relaxed and happy. in all reality, if i just went for a walk, it would work the same wonders, but the act of buying something non-essential for life sustenance was reaffirming of my worth to myself. (it hadn't slipped, but was getting pushed aside in the haze of martyrdom). and so all that led to this rambling post. i woke up to a very quiet morning - the power was out in the area, and with the exception of 1 neighbor with a backup generator, the smell of coffee in the air was missing. my neighbors to the left brew coffee so strong, i swear it peels the paint off the walls, goes through the walls, and out into the atmosphere. it's like an alarm clock for me, at times. sort of a contact high from the caffeine when i take that first morning breath. but i had a large ass canvas, so no worries. as it worked out, by the time i got diva's meds into her and helped her navigate the backyard for a tinkle, the power was on, and i made my own coffee. apparently lots of it, because here i ramble again. okay so i'm going to go now and walk diva properly, throw more gesso on a project, and take mom out for lunch (we both worked mother's day, so this is it). wishing you moments of great hedonism today.... he·don·ism/ˈhēdnˌizəm/ Noun: 1)The pursuit of pleasure. 2)The ethical theory that pleasure is the highest good and proper aim of human life. (did i tell ya?)

what did i say, again?

so, was it just a few hours ago, I laid out my beautiful plan for an artful day? wasn't it, right? ha! surely i knew then that by now, nary a drop of paint or rust would be spilled. surely i must have known then that diva would have a $350+ vet bill, a collar of shame (in blue) and many prescriptions and orders for a b-a-t-h twice a week with stinky stuff. i must have known that. *sigh* i now know how charlie brown felt all those years when Lucy held the football. the good news is: nothing life threatening. the bad: so far, I've had more blood drawn trying to give her the darn pill, then she had drawn at the office. the pill pockets are too small for the capsules, so it's off to the store. the bath went over like - well, it wasn't a hit. let's just say that. and the collar of shame is aptly named. but in 2 weeks, hopefully she'll be doing okay. bacteria & yeast infection that has spread up her leg, under her eye, around her mouth. yep - all the places that her infected saliva could carry it. poor bean bean. she looks so small when she's that wet! *************************************************************************************************************** note to art show people: although the theme is "Beauty Is..." please submit anything you choose. The main point is to sell - it is a fundraiser! The director expressly requests, though, that the work not define eating disorders specifically - she is a wonderful woman who knows her clients & families best. I have gotten 21 Yes! responses, and the list is exciting!

today

Today: car goes to the mechanic for inspection, then .... I will be in the studio ALL day!  my head has been swirling with ideas, and my dreams filled with finished pieces, but not enough extended time to work the pieces i need to make.  notice i said "need."  these pieces will not allow me rest until they begin to see the light of day.  and that means reconfiguring a part of my studio to make room for their gi-normousness.  but i will tackle that late morning, then begin to set up some water barriers on the floor and get some rusty stuff and linen in conversation together.
Today: a Big Smile day. because a note from my west coast dudelove made my heart pitter patter and made me want to hop a plane through time zones and hug big...because the house is mine alone for a few days...because i actually found 2 pair of shorts and some capri jeans in my new post-smoking size last night...because my diva dog has tethered herself to my side, which means an uber snuggly sleep...because the Tao of Drum CD has my synapses clapping their hands and dancing...because the air - oh! the air in the early morning! i wish i could send you some of the sweet perfume that travels across the air in the morning - lilac and pansy and some unidentified tree that grows tall and releases a scent so unearthly beautiful (hummingbirds favorite haunt)...so many things to smile about today...
wishing you smiles so big they get caught in your ears.

(PS- if you haven't responded to the art show email yet, please do soon - like today!  just say yes!)

wears long, floaty stuff so she doesn't forget that she's really only connected to the earth by the very tips of her toes...
from Brian Andreas, StoryPeople




stay lightly tethered today, my friends

with apologies to Sue

I meant to post a quick comment on sue's blog, but accidentally went off on a rant. when my eyes finally cleared, i stopped myself long enough to take my point back here, where i won't hog up her space. Her post was about gay marriage. she is for it. i am for it. we are both heterosexual women, married, and of an age that can get away with speaking our minds. although i am older. I do not see why there is a discussion about gay marriage at all. i just don't. when 50% of hetero marriages are ending in divorce, it's clear WE don't have it figured out. maybe we could take a lesson. maybe if there's a comparison group, we'll see that no one has it figured out. who knows? but why is this such a big deal? The only argument i've heard is that it is against God's word. but if marriage is not necessarily a religious station (many city hall marriages among opposite sex) then why are lawmakers even involved? There is no prayer in school because God's name is used. No pledge of allegiance - God again. no "christmas" pageants - yup, ditto. so how can the same lawmakers that are intent on removing God from public places now turn around and name-drop for this issue? i don't get it. i am particularly bitchy today for many reasons, which i will share here, but are likely to bore you. first, it has been a difficult cigarette craving day for some reason. second, i am tired, and third, i am watching my sweet diva try to find her way out the door of the studio and has walked into the same wall twice. i am pre-mourning her. and mostly, i am lonely. my friend from SAW, Mary, was in town for a few hours today, and we had lunch, saw my show, she loaded me up with presents and we shopped and shopped. she is wonderful. and i knew, i just knew, that when we hugged goodbye, and she headed back to the airport, that the waterworks would start. and they did. by the time i got to mom's house to pick up diva, i was a mess. i love Mary, and if you met her, you'd love her too. she is gentle and gracious and sweet and put up with my tendrils of conversational vapor all day as the chantix stole my trains of thought. but i didn't realize how much i missed the camaraderie and deep friendship up close until we spent the day together. There are few people where i live that have the same understandings...that can be called for a cup of coffee or a movie or an art date. there just isn't. my friendships run deep, but i miss the face-to-face latte or glass(es) of wine and a camping trip. I told her that her visit filled my soul today, and i don't think she realizes just how much. it was so good. but sort of like when the best book you ever picked up is almost done. but greedy me. so let's toss in a stressed out and absent husband, and you've got the makings of a Grucci Family festival of lights. so the week goes. Saturday is the annual Radisson garage sale...300+ houses participating. If you have a hankering for what someone else doesn't want, this is the place to be. but be here Very Early. and bring a water bottle. that's all for tonight. i've done enough damage.

I've always liked the time before dawn because there's no one around to remind me who I'm supposed to be, so it's easier to remember who I am. -Brian Andreas StoryPeople

i'm feeling reckless and filled with wanderlust...looking up Megabus and Amtrack and Jetblue schedules...just want to go somewhere ALIVE with sound and smell and pretty shiny things for my senses to overload & crash on...a museum, a latte, a fat Cuban sandwich at an outdoor cafe...these are the pictures swirling in my head this morning. My schedule is sort of fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants, so it's hard to include an accomplice - unless that accomplice has a sense of adventure and flexibility. i think a 1-day trip to NYC would do the trick, even. soon soon soon...maybe this time next week? wishing it was today...

the buzzz

yes - busy as a bee. in fact 2 fat little bumbles have found their way into my studio recently (at different times) and a hornet or wasp came visiting the other day. so that must be some proof of the sweetness in my life these days! so let's see - I have a show hanging in The Galleries, am working part time outside the studio, am putting together a fundraiser/art show for Ophelia's Place, building a website for a neighbor, working on a new series that has me all sorts of jacked up and excited, and trying not to pass out with excitement because Mary will be here HERE wednesday! my God i've missed her! (note to Sue: you need to come here!) and throughout all this, i'm quitting smoking. down to 2 1/2 most days. some days 4 or 5. but that's down from 25 a day, so i don't kick myself around too much on the higher days. it'll get there. there is a good exhaustion at the end of the day. it did take me a bit to get used to the new schedule - needing to sleep through the night, rather than get up every few hours and work in the studio. part of my away-from-the-studio job involves driving big diesel trucks, so i have to be alert. i feel so empowered and butch! i need another tattoo! Ha. part of the sleep-all-night problem is that bulimia cat still feels that wake-up-and-feed-me time is 4am, so he/she sneaks across the pillows (so diva dog doesn't notice) and starts nest-making in my hair. if i continue to play that i'm asleep, she'll check on me by putting her cold little wet nose in my nostril, or biting (gently) the end of my nose. once this ruckus starts, i usually have to get up to go to the bathroom anyway, so the dog wakes up too and starts barking at the cat which raises my blood pressure and makes it hard to get back to sleep. but aside from all that, i am loving life right now. i am totally in the flow, and where i should be. If you're an artist, and I haven't contacted you about submitting work for the show, please email me, or leave your contact info here (I won't print it) and I apologize for the oversight. I'm still trying to put my address book together on this new computer, since it didn't transfer like the book said it would. email me & send you the deets. so far there are quite a few exciting artists from all over the U.S., Canada, and a maybe from Russia & Japan.

oh - PS

The Month of May....Central Library...The Galleries, downtown Syracuse..."meet the artist" 5/19 12-3...please stop in - Caroline worked very hard to make it beautiful!

This nearly five-minute video really makes you think of how small we are in universe... and what we do with the time we are here. California based photographer and musician Shawn Reeder, spent two years working on this time lapse video of Yosemite National Park. (copied from Wabi Sabi blog)

gifts

how could a perfect morning get eclipsed? by a perfect afternoon, of course. spying baby ferns unfurling...

a perfect banana walnut latte by the lake, with a warm breeze on my face...

the shore guarded by giants...

reluctantly home to begin A Conversation...

today was a day of Slow Easy. an early afternoon meeting bringing opportunities to share...rain nearby, but not here yet, brought a tropical feel as the humidity rose - my hair defying any attempt to be sleek...an empty house is perfect for some tea & orange slices sprinkled with cinnamon, and some Flora...feeling thoughtful, and counting each of you as the gift that you are - bringing each to mind and holding you up for a sprinkling of blessing. my wish? for a huge house by the ocean where we could all gather.

it's humid, and the scent of my neighbor's freshly mown lawn mingles with last night's rain...wafting in my studio window making me dizzy with spring...our second spring, really. somehow, fat bumblebees have been coming inside to visit me, and everything stops while i play capture-and-release. they go up high to my lights, so it's not an easy task. today is a slow one...easing into the day with coffee, and finally a time to play around with some design ideas at my jewelry bench. nothing needs to get done, so it's relaxed. i'm stretching the last of the linen that Caroline gave me, and have some inklings of what that may turn into. just a gentle morning - one i've needed. smoking has been mostly good - some days just 2 cigs, some days 4, but i never thought i'd get to that plateau without an intervention! on the days i feel like smoking more, i say "ok" but wait 30 minutes to light up. and usually by then, i'm elbow deep in something and no longer feel the urge. when i do smoke, it feels foreign, and usually after a few puffs, i'm done. so that's a real step. with the season's change, i feel a stirring - an awakening - inside...creatively. there are things i want to express in my art and can't wait to do it. i'm still back-and-forth about an offsite studio...it would mean not having materials close at hand when midnight inspiration hits, or the snow is many feet deep, and it would mean leaving Diva alone most of the day. but it would also mean more focus. there is no laundry or cooking or phonecalls or computers in an offsite studio. maybe there's a happy medium. maybe if i split materials, and dedicated a certain amount of time to the offsite - say, 3 days a week or something, then i wouldn't feel like every waking second needs to be spent there. that mindset gets as confined as a cube in an office. but a big empty room where i could spill paint on the floor and not clean it up - that would be fantastic. i'll look around closer to home, rather than downtown where i assumed i would want to be. one of my Summer Sisters is coming to visit next week, and i am downright geeky with the thought of it! she's coming to town on business, but we will have some time to spend afterwards. i may make her miss her flight home :) it's amazing to me me how much this fills me up - just the thought. ok - time to shower & get outside in the day...thunderstorms predicted for the afternoon (thank goodness Diva can't hear them anymore) and i want to get a walk in before that. wishing you a beautifully sweet day....

a word about friends

First...I can't thank Caroline Szozda enough for her help (well, she did most of the work) hanging my show today. 7 hours of work, and she didn't feel good.  and it was an icky-ish day.  without her, i dare say i would have just flung the work up there in frustration.  thank you thank you Caroleena.  so stop in sometime this month - the Library in The Galleries downtown.  I'll be there 5/19 noon-3, but anytime during the month is fine.
While we were setting up, the oddest assortment of people stopped to chat.  and y'all know how i am a magnet for people of the oddest assortment.  one kid in particular stopped by, wearing his gang banger do-rag and all posing and semi-smarmy.  but i noticed he had very proper English, and began asking him questions about himself and asked if he was an artist (i mean, why else would a gang banger stop to watch art being hung?)  it turns out he sketches, and has a few notebooks filled.  i asked him his name, and then Caroline asked him his name - he gave her a different answer, so i called him on it.  turns out, he doesn't like his first name, which is unique and such a melody.  i decided for him that his 1st name would be his "artist" name, and that he should be back at the show on May 19th with his sketchbook, and we would plan his art career.  i teased him about his choice of headcovering.  i watched as he went from a poser, to a young kid, or a young man with delight in his eyes that he could talk about his art.  i hope he comes back.  Caroline & i were starving and trying to leave for lunch, but he kept talking & talking.  thirsty.  i want art to save this boy from his gang.  i want that.

In other news, a few years ago, I had the distinct pleasure of meeting Nicola Taylor.  She is beautiful and wonderful and has the most delightful heart evah.  and she has worked so hard for her dreams, and they have come true...she is living them.  and recently, she was picked from a huge huge choice of people in the UK to be in Stoli's first film.  Do not forget her name.  (and her calendars are yumm wonderful eye candy - no, that's not right...the depth of emotion each image embraces most certainly is NOT a quick look.  oh go see for yourself on her website.)  but look at this:(she is the photographer) (oh, and the video will say something about technical difficulty - just click it and it'll take you to the youtube version)