what wants "out" of your canvas?

yes. it's true. i am sick again. what is going on?? i paid my dues last oct-december, i should think. yesterday, i got up at 4 or 5am, had a cup of coffee, went to the studio and stared vacantly like a zombie on Quaaludes. then promptly went back to bed for a few hours. by 3pm, i was back in bed for the day/evening, waking only when husband yelled HOLY COW! over a daytona 500 wreck (yes, he's a huuuge fan). then back on the pillow for the night. fever, chills, fever, chills in endless rotation. what the heck?? today - much of the same, but am determined to get some paint splashed around, and some resin cooking. some amazing designs came to light in my fevered dreams, inspired in part by Nyquil. right now, i'm being guarded by diva and bulimia cat...both laying on my studio floor facing each other, pretending to sleep, but keeping a watchful eye for a flicker of movement from the other. kitten has started sassing back at diva...when diva growls at him/her to "be gone," kitten hums some kitty love song, which in turn makes diva madder because you can't hate love, right? apparently, you can't hurry it either - it's been 2 years since kitten moved in, and diva is still not pleased. but bulimia cat is patient. Last night...amazing sight...i went to the kitchen for a glass of water, snapped on the light so i wouldn't trip over any manner of cat toy the dog has "hidden," and there outside my window in February was a glorious fat moth. yes. a moth. i'm not sure what they do in central new york in the winter, but it isn't flutter up and down a window at night. or any other time. and i know it was real, because having been awakened by the HOLY COW incident, i compelled husband to come into the kitchen to see it for himself. and he saw it too. not just me and my nyquil. i have so many projects i want to start/finish/design/gel...not sure if rest is the order of the day, or if i should just push through, aided by chemistry. i have jewelry orders lined up on my bench, paintings waiting patiently to be finished/gessoed over & restarted, linen and canvas to stretch over stretcher bars (thanks to Caroleena a/k/a caroline Szozda, gallery owner, Guardian of the Artist, momma hen to any & all who cross her path). and a queue of instant play netflix movies to watch. i finally FINALLY got the name of the Japanese movie I've been dying to re-watch: Departures. i saw it a few years ago, and fell in love with the sweet, sad, story. mostly sweet. all in english subtitles, which i thought would make me crazy, but after 5 minutes, i swore i was understanding the Japanese. i wasn't, but just sayin. last night i had a dream that i went through a hole in the wall in my kitchen (we don't actually have a hole in the wall - this was nyquil inspired) and was in NYC in front of a museum that held all the artwork in the world. you paid whatever you could, or left a donation of a tube of paint, and could stay there as long as you wanted...they had little pod apartment things so you didn't have to leave...just nap and continue. how cool would that be? but i think it's definitely overdue for a museum/gallery trip. what is your favorite museum in nyc? if you had just 2 days to visit, what would you see? ok - some nice steamy hazlenut hot chocolate and my pillow. the bug wins for now.

well, i had a really cool pictures of the snow falling mightily on my kayaks. but my phone and computer just aren't speaking (still) so imagine this: yesterday morning smelled of spring - even the honking of returning geese filled the lake. every sense was filled to bursting with freshness, and the sun warmed my back as diva and I made our trek through the woods. Right In Front Of Us, barred owl swooped toward an unsuspecting squirrel, but pulled up short and returned to his tree where the path makes a turn toward the second pond, and evergreen give way to birches and cherry trees and ancient oaks. treetops filled with song and the icy skim on the lake began transforming itself into soft undulations. bucolic, right? a few hours later, BAM! a clap of thunder came suddenly overhead, bringing a blinding flash of lightning. the house shivered almost as much as diva. then rain. the cold, pelting kind that slaps your face and finds a path to trickle down your back as you bend your head to escape it's slap. then the wind began, tossing trees branches to the ground, as they dared to swell with early buds. gusty howling drove rain sideways, making me fear for diva as she reluctantly went out back for a last potty break before bed. this morning...snow covering my waiting kayaks. so it appears that we shall have all 4 seasons every day - something for everyone. Thursday, i participated in a webinar featuring one of my favorite people on earth: Christine Mason Miller. we ran through one of the exercises in her book, Desire to Inspire. (which you should own). it seemed simple and crafty on the face of it, and a lot of fun. but then you got to thinking. and you know the trouble i can get into when i get all thought up, right? but back to the webinar. she had us pick 5 characters from fiction, history, movies, etc, that we admired. for the sake of time we narrowed it to 2. then we wrote the name of each on separate pieces of paper (or your journal, if you're a journaler). then list the characteristics of each...then list a defining moment or quote in the book/film, etc, that speaks to you. then we pretended that we had an opportunity to sit with that "person." what would they say to you? (i may have these instructions a little sideways - so much has happened since thursday). It was clutch time, and i had to think quick, so of course i came up with...nothing. well, not nothing nothing. but nothing that would wouldn't reveal me to be the trash-movie watcher that i am...nothing, umm, smart. but i wanted to participate. so i said Be Damned to my inner critic, and picked a character that has haunted me since i first saw the movie of the same name: Precious. if you saw the movie, you know there are parts that are almost heartbreakingly unwatchable. and yet, Precious just goes about her day, slogging through whatever has to get done...wearing any anger or hurt under the protection of many layers of clothes and body. yet she is gentle and patient with life - makes no excuses, just does what she knows is right and does what she can with what's handed her. in her circumstance, she has a sense of ownership of her life, even though her circumstance is pitched wildly out of her control. yet she waits for her opportunities, even though she has no indication or expectation that things will ever change....she just hangs on moment by moment. so, i got to the part in the exercise where we write down what our "person" says to us. and the filtered down-to-it's-essence version is: Keep going. you just have to keep going. and i realized what great advice that is...to stop when faced with challenge leaves you sitting in the muck. go through, keep going. much like the pelting rain/sleet/snow of yesterday...rather than stand there bitching about how much i hated the icy drips down my neck, i had to keep going til i got home, or stand there getting soaked and battered like some sort of human pinata, while nature had her way with me. the other thing i admired about Precious was that she was pretty much derided by every person she came in contact with (except her school counselor Maria Carey with no makeup), but you got a feeling that she still didn't bother with pondering if she was better or worse than anyone else....she just ...was. i won't spoil the ending, but it's a deceptively simple film. difficult to watch in some parts, but worth staying with. In the webinar, we made small index card collages of the word(s) of wisdom (well i didn't actually do it then because i had no idea we needed supplies ready before the webinar, but i did it later). loved it! Thank you Swirly and Create Mixed Media! Later in the evening, I watched Moneyball, totally procrastinating taxes and reworking a painting (but honestly - if the roof was going to blow off the house, the last place i wanted to be was on the top floor). same kind of theme here - the Brad Pitt character made the best of his circumstance, believed so strongly in the direction he wanted to go and plowed through...even though it could likely get him fired and blacklisted in baseball. but - the flip side of the risk was changing the way baseball was done. and that risk was worth it to him. he was all in. i know i'm rambling. sorry. and it's time to hit the canvas without tying these thoughts up in a nice bow. but maybe there is no nice bow. maybe i just drank too much coffee this morning. and these are just some thoughts escaping the hamster wheel through my fingers. but the wind howling outside makes me feel cozy inside, in my studio, and the allure of quin nickel azo gold is just too hard to resist. wishing you a day of certainty, even in the face of changing windstorms....

you rock the world

thank goodness for west coast friends...the ones who call at 5am when you're having your 1st or 2nd cup of coffee, and they're just finishing their day...you get up early, they stay up late. we could never be roommates - neither one of us would sleep. but, in those world-quiet moments chatting, i want to get on a plane and be there in person. this morning we chatted about "self improvement." rather, the glut of self-improvement visionaries and books and CD's and DVD's and retreats and workshops...you get the point. and the theme that ran through our conversation was that it wasn't really "improvement." it was non-acceptance. or insecurity. or shame. but that a person is created, and has life experiences, to be the very person they are. That the person they are has a profound mission or place in the world: to be themselves. Much like a recipe, if it calls for cilantro, you simply cannot substitute cinnamon. and if a person is continually wanting to be more like someone else, then their unique place in the world is not being fulfilled. i guess this is a running theme of conversations between us. neither of us can fathom why a person wants to act like someone else, when it's so much easier and fulfilling to be who they really are. so to buy into a self-improvement mindset is to reject the gift that is you. we agreed that self-awareness, and self-growth, and self-acceptance, etc, were all good things to chase, but not at the expense of losing that first word: self. I know tons of artists that i admire, and that are far more skilled than i. do i want to learn from their techniques? try to stop me! but do i want my art to look just like theirs? no. no matter how bad the result of a day at my studio produces, to do anything less than have my own personal conversation with the canvas or rusty metal or fragrant beeswax would be cheating myself and would be pointless. there already IS one of them...there needs to be one of me. you may admire certain traits in another person, but is your heart calling you to reach higher towards your expression of those traits, or is it self-deception covering self-hatred? (maybe hatred is too strong a word, but you know what i mean.) and so we continued our chat - one idea spawning another, til it became light here and darker there (or maybe it became lighter there by this time!) and we finally said our goodbyes for the day. i picked up the brushes and paints and wood icing and sandpaper, and began to work with new colors inspired by someone near and dear to me. the composition is my own - the colors began as one of their palettes. and doggone it, if it didn't end up with my own swerve to it. Later, as i took a break, i kanoodled around the world wide web and found this on The Roots Of She: Buckminster Fuller : Never forget that you are one of a kind. Never forget that if there weren’t any need for you in all your uniqueness to be on this earth, you wouldn’t be here in the first place. And never forget, no matter how overwhelming life’s challenges and problems seem to be, that one person can make a difference in the world. In fact, it is always because of one person that all the changes in the world come about. So be that person. ditto. wishing you each a day uniquely your own.....

i finally gave in...feverish all night...feverish today...drowsy...needing to wrap up in a cozy comforter and sleep...am taking the day to do just that...a nice shower with some extra special handmade soap i've been saving, then cuddles with diva. putting the word out - needing some free canvases...new or used (will gesso). (or gessobord or claybord!) not fussy! nap now...nighty night...

so far - a very productive day in the studio...started out with a little trance dancing to get the rpm's up, then got right to it...my new easel (thanks handsome hubby) is working out fantastic! it's so much easier to get perspective by leaving a painting up at eye level, and walking away for a few minutes. when you walk back in the room, it's staring at you, the way it would if it was hung on a wall, rather than lying flat on the worktable. i'm waiting very impatiently for the Art-Is-You schedule to be posted...registration opens the end of february, and listen, huh? it IS the end of february sort of right now. whine. stomp. so far, it had better run 20 days, because there are at least 20 classes i have to take or forfeit my peace of mind. gah. i've got jessie j rocking the iPod, mixed in with Guru Ma....go figya. i think that's why one half of this painting looks like it doesn't belong to the other half. i want to keep going, but am feeling the pillow call. no point in trying to break through it. so, a nap, a walk with diva, a shower (finally) and then FINALLY to the post office...i am SO sorry if you've been waiting for mail from me. this kidney infection is whoopin my behind. off to na na land now - zzzzz

this morning, i felt a strong intuition to post something on facebook basically asking people to let those you love & care about know that you love and care about them. little did i know that i would be the recipient of a message from a longtime friend that was so astoundingly sweet and wonderful that it's like chocolate. we've known each other since i was around 13, and have shared so many bumps and turns and highs and lows, but i had no idea she thought some of the things she shared with me in that note. and we hold each other's deepest secrets. when my dad passed away in 1977, i missed out on telling him how much i loved him...missed it by 6 hours...and have held that in a little box inside for all this time. our family dynamic was such that we never really hugged or said "i love you" to each other. i had a deep intuition that night that i should stay at the hospital...the nurses had even put out blankets and a pillow in this little conference room with a couch, which had never happened in all the months he had been there. but i went home that night. and when we got the call to come back in the wee hours, it was already too late. they said that for the first time in months, he had sat up and was perfectly lucid. the guilt and sense of utter frustration and of being cheated softened some through the years, but never left. so i learned from that, and from that day forward, have always tried my best to remember to tell those close to me that they matter...that they are indeed loved...that they have worth...that they make me happy...that i appreciate them. it may make some people feel uncomfortable, and one person i met 5 years ago seems especially put off by it, but i will always always tell it anyway. not to belabor a point. this has been a difficult bunch o' months for me, and i want to use this space to say thank you to those who have held on, held up, stayed strong for me, jumped with joy & happy danced with me, and knelt in prayer with me. it's been that kinda ride. i've made peace with so many things, and helped others make peace. and life being what it is, that whole flow thing, i know it will all just keep on the way it should. and i wouldn't have it any other way.

wrinkles

darn - i tried uploading some really swell pictures, but the droid & mac are not speaking, so you'll just have to look at font. This morning, as i was going through a box o' books, i spied "A Wrinkle In Time" and was instantly transported back to the first time i read it...licorice laces close at hand...a warm summer day with a nice breeze sneaking in my bedroom window as i read it cover-to-cover...so today, on a cold winter day, with the sun streaming in my window, i have plans to re-read it. i've forgotten most of it - just memory swatches of moments and a few words, but mostly the feeling of it...grandmotherly protection and adventure and bravery... i should just stay in bed with it all day and break this fever, but i have a few "in progress" paintings that need attention, and am expecting some good love from the mail today, so want to finish up before the mailman comes. (which gets later every day!)* a short post for now - if i don't get busy, then the morning will slip past... wishing you protection in all your adventures today.... *okay - so no one reminded me it's a holiday and there's no mail. very funny, y'all!

the puppy-ear saga continues...poor thing...i try to tell her she looks beautiful, but she knows i am lying lying lying. the shaved ear is just not pretty. i'd post a picture, but really - who needs to see that? getting the capsules into her is a an exercise in futility...i use pill pockets, and have to watch her chew them - invariably, the pocket is eaten, and the now-slimy pill is sitting on the floor. all nice and neat. or not, if the capsule breaks and the powder goes all over. then we have the drops. 6 in each ear. who makes this stuff up?? can they make 1 powerful drop?? i try to sneak up on her...i try to show her i'm going to do it...neither way works. she gets that little lip curled up and goes into kujo mode. i may need an antibiotic before this is done. oh, and then THEN there's the cream. ah yes. this stuff smells worse than garbage. sort of a sulfur-y smell, and she clearly does. not. like. it. She's always been nuts about her ears, so of course this is an ear thing. not sure why she keeps getting yeast infections in her ears, but this is the 3rd one. so by the time i hit the studio, i need a shower, and she is fit to be tied. of course, bulimia cat gets all helpful during this process, and that torques diva out even more. then kitten gets upset and - you guessed it - barfs all over. who knew working from home would be this complicated? luckily, diva is a late sleeper, so i can get some coffee in me and some work done before she rises & shines. all night long i hear jingle jingle, and think "SANTA!" but no, it's just diva's tags rattling when she shakes her head. she does it intentionally (when she isn't sick) to let me know she has to go out. like i am her servant - ring the bell, and the person will come running. and despite all this, i do love her so much. so enough of this - time to paint! wishing you a day with all the bells and whistles!

so how did this girl get to the woman she is today? How did this selfsame small, fierce person waltz down the middle of a runway, unannounced & unregistered as a contestant in a beauty contest, and find herself wearing a tiara 10 minutes later...staring straight into the camera with all confidence and ownership as if she was just taking her rightful place on the throne - er - lawn chair? and grow through years of feeling like the ugly duckling...the square peg...the friend to all, but Known by none...and then turn, and search back through the layers to find that spark of righteousness and rightness and sense of Being and truth...and lighting that torch again - or rediscovering it was there all along - and burning away the deceits she had placed upon her very own heart til it beat just a little weaker...and with apology for it's existence...and then holding that torch within her again with a roar I AM...and this time knowing. exactly. who.she.was.talking.about. How did it happen? how did she she let it slip from her knowing self, the certainty of her steps and purpose? better to ask - how did it happen, the reclaiming...with true hearts guiding and bearing her up and refolding maps and simply celebrating Who She Is, with no apologies and all gentleness and gratitude. (photo by Brian Gordon Greene/squidoo) Mourning doves have been camping and flocking in my trees suddenly...a quick turn around a corner could find an in-flight face-to-beak encounter, if one or the other doesn't make fast evasive moves...their song seemingly so sad, giving their name...and yet, so gentle is their voice...so absolutely soft is their belly...even their color invites relaxing...the mourning dove does not look flightworthy in any way, and yet their wings whistle the accomplishment...

I promise you not a moment will be lost as long as I have heart & voice to speak & we will walk again together with a thousand others & a thousand more & on & on until there is no one among us who does not know the truth: there is no future without love. _ Brian Andreas, StoryPeople Wishing you a day of sweet hugs, and remembrances from those you love.......

an incredible show at Szozda....Phil Parsons. He is an incredible human, and his work....oy....his work just brings me to tears. there's one painting in particular that just tells my heart to grab the credit card. *sigh* but it would not be possible to sneak $1K through. so, i visit it. am still trying to get my stamina back. by noon, I'm useless, and by 2pm, i better be near a pillow. the 2 hours in between that are spent trying to push through, but usually drooling and slurring and otherwise in an exhausted state. my fibro has been really screaming the past 2 days. BUT...the sun has been on full force today. after snow yesterday, an apology came from the sky, and diva and i walked even slower through the woods this morning. she has a vet appointment tomorrow, so i'm pre-apologizing to her with plenty of snuggles and hugs. hopefully she'll remember them tomorrow when they torture her. this has gone from a simple pedicure to a full exam, once i spotted a huge sore behind her ear. she is also licking her front leg like a junkie scratches their track marks. (at least so i see on TV). so Dr. Ewa will fix her. love this vet. we are both acting like old ladies today, so it's nice to have company. i actually have 3 paintings started...1 might be finished, i'm not sure. and i finished some Tiffany-style heart necklaces to take to the gallery, and put on my website, so i've been somewhat productive. i just need to get my daily rhythm back. no more owl sightings, although i did almost have a mourning dove crash into the side of my head this morning. they just don't seem that brilliant of a bird. and they don't look air-worthy, but there they fly anyway. that whistling noise is actually from the way their wing feathers are constructed, not a noise they make intentionally in their throats. in case that tidbit comes up at a cocktail party, now you're prepared, smartypants. PSD went back to school today and i miss her. she came to the show opening with me, and it was good company. ok - no more fight left - time to nap....maybe more later.....

I've been listening to Jen Lee's "The Iconic Self" CD set...you can read my feelings about "self-help" type of things in my post a few back. This video has been snatched from Jen's blog, (with permission) found here. the truths she gently brings out are SMACK full of stuff. this one in particular made me realize that my recent dry spell in the studio is, in part, coming from trying so hard to meet expectations - of myself, of my mentors, of the gallery - and that somewhere in there, my natural flow was being crippled. this morning, i listened to this short video, then went to let diva out back. it was 4am. and i have this large piece i've been working on (well, was working on months ago - now it just laughs & taunts me) sitting on a table in my studio...the first thing i see when i walk in the door to the studio. and i have some text i want to add to it, but just couldn't bring myself to. it just seemed too jarring & obvious, but it was what the inspiration for the piece (and a series of pieces i had planned) was about...but for some reason i just couldn't work up the enthusiasm. so this morning, with this video getting me thought up, i grabbed some scrap wood and just began to smear every manner of art supply on it...just to force my hands to work...the muscle memory. and then went outside again for a smoke break, and saw the sun was starting to come up, and i tell you the only way to describe the sky is in cliche and words not even sufficient...because it was not a sky that had been created for words, just for the senses. so to say the clouds were like pink cotton candy against a baby blue sky is as ridiculous as saying the Mona Lisa is a painting of a woman using dark tones. and as i took it all in, a thought made it's way past the barbed wire wall that has held my creativity hostage for these months, and bam! it hit me like The Original Thought. and i realized that the text would, indeed, cheapen the intention of the piece...that it was meant to be more of a conversation with the senses, than an emotional outburst of a specific topic...that the interpretation of the piece was meant to be individual, with each viewer bringing his or her history to it. i know what the piece is about for me, but that is secondary to what i feel my expression of art should be. so. there you have it. all dragged out under a cotton candy sky in the wee hours of the morning, with indescribable pain shooting through my knees and ankles. all dragged out by a quick little video made by gentle-voiced BAMF from Brooklyn. do not underestimate this woman...she holds deep truths.

this morning i noticed the clouds were pink against the blue sky as the hint of morning dawned weaving through the charcoal fingers of the sleeping maple cocooned alone with the cardinal i drank it in body soul spirit and my hands recited the poetry against the stark white

my goal: to take a workshop with this incredible artist, Daniella Woolf There's been a lot of shaking and moving in the studio the past few days...mostly inner work...as I get down & dirty with art supplies, I've been listening to Jen Lee's CD's "The Iconic Self." I suppose I thought "Well let's see what this is about, but I doubt there's anything new-to-my-old-soul on it." ok, who was wrong? anyone? Buehler? it is a lovely, delicate, strong, matter-of-fact-but-loaded-gun work that (when i least expect it) touches something in me. She recorded this along with Phyllis Mathis, and it will be going along tra-la-la-interesting anecdote-gentle gentle, then WHAT DID YOU SAY??? bam. a truth hits home. and i realize that you never really stop learning...there isn't ever a point where you have it all figured out. i always thought there was a time in your life where you'd sit back and say "*deep exhale* whew. glad that's done! I now have it all figured out, so i can spend the rest of my life nodding sagely & knowingly at everyone else." because i've been blessed with a stream of strong women in my life (many blessings upon you Penny) who have just seemed so in control of themselves, and have lived the life i aspire to, i misled myself into thinking that they had it all together. they didn't, but that doesn't make them any less strong, wonderful, vulnerable, role model material, beautiful, giving, kind...you get the idea. they still had their challenges, for sure. they just dealt with them with confidence and grace. they picked a direction and moved forward, trusting that they would handle any unintended excitement along the way. One such woman shocked SHOCKED everyone by announcing she was divorcing her husband of 23 years. she had waited until the last of her kids was out of high school and off to college, then moved on with her life on her terms. no one ever knew she was that unhappy in her marriage until that day. she had made a choice to not disrupt her kids' life, and went about her days in grace and happiness, for it was her choice to do so. then, she packed her bathing suit, some family pictures, her Amex card, and moved to a more tropical locale. just like that. i haven't seen her in many years (she was the mother of my ex-boyfriend) but her daily examples of how to live a gracious life took root in me...if a family was struggling, she would anonymously get help to them...when her kids were enrolled in a dance class, and another family was falling behind on their tuition, she quietly paid it, and bought new dance gear for their kids. she raised her kids in generosity of spirit and gentleness in their dealings with Any Other People. i remember her kindnesses to me at a time of great difficulty in my life...her giving was much more than financial. i was considered a part of the family...just sort of folded in to the loud, fantastic, world that was their family. I'm not sure why i'm off on this tangent, but there you have it. today, i will be more gracious. today i will be more kind. today i will ask myself, "What Would Penny Do?"

synapse balloon

lightly tethered drift between yes and no, or not or just standing still......

wow - what a difference the alphabet makes - at least when you're talking vitamins! last week i started taking a good multivitamin, along with my prescription D, wowa. the energy was amazing (compared to my recent state of sloth-like being, anyway). and i finally started making again....9 new necklaces for Valentine's Day (2 of which sold the first moment they hit the gallery), and errands completed. There's been an owl stalking me. i swear. last wednesday, she flew over my head - very closely - as i walked diva. the next night, there was such an owl racket up in one of the trees behind my house, as 2 of them argued about something. then friday night, diva went out back to go potty, and being the private pooper that she is, headed to The Dark Spot behind a tangle of trees. but she stopped and just stood there, frozen. i thought, "uh oh - skunk," and raced over to her, thinking/not thinking i would grab her and go. just then a huge barred owl took flight from less than a foot away, swooped us, then settled in a tree nearby. i love owls, am fascinated by how their bodies and inclinations work, but by God they better not try to eat my diva. she stayed in the tree looking down at us, as i scooped poor diva up and ran for the door (remembering that once their talons lock in, they cannot release them till their prey goes limp). yes, i like my predators a little further away, thank you. I've also been gifted a mass of porcupine quills to make some jewelry from, thanks to Pork Chop (who i renamed Fontaine secretly). (what is your secret name, by the way?) all this nature in my face lately. Owls ask us to spend quiet time in the dark and listen to our intuition...they bring power and clarity of sight. Porcupines tell us we're protected, and herald magical abilities. so what the heck is coming?? hopefully a lottery win. i feel my creativity starting to bubble again, and am excited about what will show up... wishing you a magical day, protected from the slings and arrows that may cross your path....

divorce

Dear Google, Get out of my private business, thank you very much. Your new "privacy" policy is just a head's up that you'll be taking information you've already collected about me, and distributing it to people YOU trust. really? what if I don't trust them? can I opt out? can I say "wipe me out of your files" ? it appears not. and because you've insinuated yourself into my daily life - including the cell phone I own - all i can do is limit the damage by using Bing, and yes, using a different platform for this blog. do we have a voice in this? nope. pretty scary when you think about it. is anyone on the other end of your 800 number? nope. tried to get customer service to try to figure out a continuous error on my cell phone. so, as best as i can - i'm divorcing you google.

isn't it just the way things go? Orders are coming in left, right, and centerfield JUST at the time I decided to return to my Big Girl Job part time...the solitary studio walls were getting to me big time, and really how many times can you go through your iPod list in a day? The offer was tempting me for a while, and soon i realized that my website can run itself, and i will still have time to create...the scheduling is that good. strangely, i felt sad at first to return. i don't do change easily. and i wondered if i was giving up, or maybe being lazy by letting someone else (a corporation) worry about paying the bills. but i realized that, more than anything, i need human interaction on a regular basis. and this half in/half out configuration will supply that. and if i had a list of things i would want to do if i HAD to work outside the studio, then i have to say the list was fulfilled. so, my studio is still operational...my website is still operational...my creative time is still there, just shifted...and yes, i am very happy to make you a necklace or collage. anytime! (for peeps in the Syracuse area...I will be delivering a limited number of one-of-a-kind Valentine inspired necklaces to Szozda Gallery this weekend!) ahh. so i guess it is possible to have it all!