this week has been a giant hoover vacuum cleaner set on "super suck" and it's sucked away my energy...my brain...my good humor. i had serious doubts as to whether i would return from lunch, but couldn't leave my co-workers stranded like that. this time. it is very much time to find another venue. very much time. but for now, i'm going to do all i am capable of...pour a glass of riesling, and lay down in the warm grass. i'll wait for night to fall before i decide if i want to get up and come to bed. just a word here: be very very nice to any and all customer service people you encounter - especially over the phone. do it for me. even if they are less than helpful.

can you believe we had real, live snow today?? yes - snow. none of it stuck to the ground, but it wavered between a cold rain, then BAM snow actual snow! diva is not that thrilled...for an Eskimo dog, she does not have an inclination to go out in cold weather. i just wanted to remind you locals that Friday at 7pm is the gathering at the Delavan to mark it's closing. i won't say "party" because when the doors close for the final time, it will leave a great void in the Syracuse art scene. Bill Delavan and staff have worked many years to promote local artists, and to showcase some remarkable art. many artists have continued on to national spotlights, and many, already in national spotlights, have always felt a warm place for this gallery. i have to say that it is one place where i never feel high maintenance. Caroline is always there, smiling, and working with the artists to bring about a special magic. the vibe is always good...not pretentious but certainly not embarrassed about asking a fair price for the work they represent. they work hard. and hopefully know just how much their efforts have been appreciated. and hopefully each artist has, indeed, appreciated the gallery and the people that make it what it is. it may take a few months for the reality to sink in that they are gone, and Caroline will be operating a smaller space there. i urge every artist, and every art lover, that has been touched by Bill Delavan and his wonderful dream to express to him, and to the staff, exactly what they have given you. i, for one, had my first Real Artist show there, and remember every detail. and remember that there was no question, concern, or insecure moment that was insignificant to them. for that i thank them. i wish you well, Bill, and please know that i have the highest regard for you...i wish you peacefulness and joyful times with your family, and that every kindness you've shown is returned to you tenfold. And Caroleena, you have my unwavering support as you step out in this new venture. don't be scared...we're all here with you! Linda

ok... a nice bonfire with good neighbors...throw in some good wine, but not too much...2 golden retrievers...a handful of kids all jacked up on smores...now there's a recipe to cure the blues. (i tried to list a title, "An evening recipe" but it kept changing to arabic characters...strange)

i'm up for air for a few minutes. thank God for art, can I just say that? didja ever have a day where that blue cloud just settles over your head and tries to creep down into your ears and invade your brain and every i mean every step and movement is a futile pointless struggle? where you go to the store to buy some glue just some glue and hope to make it home before you just give up and lay down on the ground for good and there in the middle of the store you hear a song (Linger) that just makes you gulp back big tears and you wonder if you'll make it out of that place in time? the song, the bonfire, the smell of the woods in September...tugging at a spot that yearns for the Girls. what is it about stores and me lately? but aside from last night's near-miss, and today's altogether different near-miss, i am just plain funked. so i figured if i at least played with some art, i'd be distracted. and it worked. somewhat. enough. and there's a bonfire in the 'hood to look forward to tonight. so that's where i'll leave it.

it's been a week. and that's all i have to say about that. surprisingly. but when something is so incredibly good or bad, it's often hard to find the words to express it. and in the case of the latter, which was My Week, all you can do is have a glass of wine. or two. or, in my case, since i don't drink...shop. so at 8:30 last night, i decided i needed more resin. the nearest place was closed - Hobby Lobby (and don't get me going on the discussion of corporate morals vs. my need for resin after 8pm or on sundays). but wait - if i drive very fast, but carefully, i can make it to AC Moore. ok. so i get there with 5 minutes to spare. how do i know i have 5 minutes? the clerk informed me when i walked in "you have FIVE minutes." 1 minute later she makes an announcement over the loudspeaker that sounded like this "iuerwfieqbcie TO THE CASHIER NOW cbuehyclohqdcn CLOSING." i grab who-knows-what-but-not-resin and head for the cashier. smarmy girl cashier. smarmy stock boy had already locked the doors, in case some other freak tried to force their way in, making them late, no doubt, for the underage drinking party they saw on facebook. a very pale couple had slid in behind me, and there was much consternation afoot. i asked the cashier if they had resin, and she said Walmart Is Open Til Midnight. i paid for my who-knows-whats and thought "Walmart...midnight..need stuff." the pale couple heard this too, and i felt a kinship. now, i am already sinking into the blue zone...i need a new job, my husband felt stressed so he headed up to the Manly Man Huntin Camp to fish for the weekend, and here i was...a perfectly good companion/friend who had had one of Those kind of weeks...scouting craft supplies alone on a friday night at 9pm. torn between feeling lonely and needing craft supplies, and guilty for leaving diva home alone after she waited all day (a milliion years in dog time) for me. wally world is on the way home, so i head over, with the Very Pale couple behind me. maybe we could all get a slurpie later? and just as i pulled into the parking lot, i felt so Loser-like. i am shopping at walmart on a friday night ALONE, save for two people that i have struck up an imaginary friendship with. even THEY have each other. woe is me. so i figure this will be an in-and-out trip...grab the things i'm looking for and head home...ooooh but there's the tshirt rack, and some other altogether shiny and twinkly stuff calling me. i browse. and then it hits me...i have to pee. not in a while...now. uh oh. i'm as far from the door as is possible, and you know i Will Not use a public restroom. not gonna happen. and it's starting to give me a headache and i have my arms full with a bag of cat food, a play ball for diva, an air freshener (that i don't recall picking up, for the record), an undercounter mounted light fixture (WTF) and a fluorescent long tubey bulb for it. no resin though. and then i spot the One Thing that will Change My Life..way down on the bottom shelf. where i have to bend over to get it which would squeeze my full-as-a-sponge bladder but i have to have This Thing...so i sort of teeter sideways, balancing my cartload of stuff not in a cart but in my arms because i just needed One Thing which is none of the things impeding me right then. and try to swing/swipe my right arm hoping to grab it like a brass ring on a carousel. missed. bend a little lower and swing/swipe again and the pressure, the pressure i tell you, is unlike anything ever experienced by any other human, of this i am sure. it is volcanic, to be current. and i am certain if i am not successful, i will never not ever return to this store. not even at christmas for cheap decorations. never. it will be worse than when fergie had her mishap. because this time, it would be Me. swing/swipe SCORE! but now, to move from that position would be a disaster, so i sort of hang there like a frozen statue, praying to the bathroom gods for mercy. and to the regular God that the security cameras are broken in my area of the store. and i see, just down the aisle in another section, i see a display of Depends, and think Well Of Course. and will myself to stand upright like my God-given right in the chain of humanity and tippey toe tippey toe scuttle to the cashier who was light years friendlier than smarmy cashier. in fact, so friendly was she, that she wanted to discuss every thing i was buying. i almost just left it all there, but i had already swiped my card. i can finish this story quickly by saying Thank God for the cover of darkness in my driveway, and Bad Kitty for tripping me up as i vaulted toward relief. you decide if i made it. i will not publish the result here. and later as i drifted off to sleep i thought, What a strange and pathetic end to the week.

no - i didn't fall off the edge of the earth, and i'm not ignoring your emails! i'm have issues with my server and either haven't been able to get into my email, or haven't been able to send any (or both). sometimes, if i look nonchalantly the other way and hit SEND real quick, then whistle a bit, an email will slide through the void. so that's where i'm at, virtually speaking. artistically...well, similar. i just read Jenny Doh's new book and am totally inspired. i just need some time to put it in action! last night, i grabbed some gesso and slopped it on some muslin. after that dried, i scribbled some watercolor crayons on top, then wet it and sprinkled it with some twinkle dust Pearl-Ex (but just a little) and then splattered some alcohol ink on top. i actually like it. and i'd share it, but alas, the same gremlin that stole my email has floodlebuzzed my picture thingie. but it felt so good to watch my hands move like an artist's...to feel the colors...to have no purpose for making the art...just to smoosh stuff around. and i think that's why i like painting - it's not my "real" artform, so there's no pressure to put on myself...whew! what a relief! i'm really feeling the need for a GirlTribe gathering...a meeting of spirits ... two or three or twenty...a bonfire, some hot chocolate or a glass of wine, definitely smores, and some good soul-talk and giggles. work has been energy-draining, with the new girl finally gone. it's a relief on one hand, but now we're down to 2 of us in a 5 person department. so i'll cut this short and get some sleep. just wanted to check in before y'all forgot me! L.

play

some advice: if you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging. (passed on by Rika)

it is 7am...i have been up for 3 hours. my intent was to make some jewelry for an upcoming event. the Silence...the Spirit...had other things in mind for me on this chilly morning. In the quiet of the Silence, i heard doors creaking closed - my art gallery announced it's imminent closing...my wished for work-from-home position not to be...and a growing unease with my lifeplan. funny about plans. i resolutely sat at the worktable in my studio with the plan to make 3 bracelets today. the only light coming from a task lamp clamped to the edge of the table in my cozy soldering/jewelry making nook. all was well. somewhat. and as is the case when the mind is engaged elsewhere, the heart begins to speak...gently, sometimes, but often with a startling bolt of revelation. my Silence has learned to speak loudly and get to the point quickly, as i have filled every nook & void with Things To Do. so there i sat...Diva snoring quietly on her woobie next to me. and my hands worked. after an hour, i took a stretch break and picked up my newly purchased book, Hand Wash Cold, to read a few pages before bending over sterling wire and gemstones once again. and i never got past page 6. i am hoping i don't trample any copyrights here, but the words hit me between the ribs so effectively, i have to share: "You might think, for instance, that the life you have is not at all the life you had in mind, so it doesn't constitute your real life at all," oh boy. then, paraphrasing a bit, Karen Maezen Miller says 'We are most devoted to the life we don't have.' ouch. and my hands stopped. and in a blaze of understanding, i saw what had been, and what had become of my life - in particular, my relationships and tethers. it's not that i feel i'm a horrible person. i believe i am a DogFriend - loyal, trustworthy, and fiercely devoted. however, it's how i spend my time that was the focus of this pinata-like attack on my natural choices. I have been an artist my whole life, but never claimed the title until about 5 years ago. and that set up this scenario. if i was an Artist, then i needed to spend my waking days making Art, right? but the thing of it is, is that i need to work at a traditional job to make money to help support the family. and/or my art supply habit. after buying those supplies, i needed to use them, having spent all that money on them. because i worked outside the studio during the week, that left weekends and stolen scraps of time. but, if i am at my bench when i'm not at my Big Girl Job, then when is there time to develop the kind of Golden Tether with my husband, my friends, my Diva? see, i imagined that my "real" life is that of a fulltime artist. since that wasn't possible, then i became prickly and selfish with my time. it's an either/or thing for me...either i leap and hope for the universe to catch me by quitting the BGJ, or i settle things in my heart and know that Art will be my part-time passion. i would still be an artist - it is who i am as much as saying i am a woman. but the need to spend every waking free moment in the studio Along With a BGJ does not lend itself to time for other things. so i stood in my freshly painted spa-like bathroom, smoking, and pondering. while my mind pondered & tried to undo the tangles of thoughts to make a beautiful chain, my spirit remembered how nice it felt to work on a project together last weekend. and how sad that our conversations, in the unlikely event that they occur, our mostly information-vomits about our day. or the weather. now, i don't take full responsibility for the malaise that has settled into our marriage, but i am certain that my time in the studio has not done a lot to help. see, i was devoted more to the imaginary life i thought i wanted, than i was to the life i have. and had become resentful and regretful that i had been put in a situation where i had to squash my dreams and live...an ordinary life. gasp. like millions of other people. oh my. and the flash of a thought hit me, mind spirit asking why i had calendared in pen on the fridge today & tomorrow and the rest of the saturdays & sundays "jewelry" when i felt so lonesome for human contact? my spirit asked me, quietly and gently and directly with an unwavering look - why am i spending all these saturdays and sundays making jewelry when my heart was headed to My Lake or to play with Diva? and i answered "to get ready for the event." and the next question came quickly "what if you just didn't do to the event?" answer: then i wouldn't have to make all this jewelry. Question: then what would you lose? answer: nothing. And on it went bees buzzing back and forth, but without the sting...just gentle revelation and a veil lifting. i was more devoted to my imagined life, then to the one given me at this moment. and the fault does not lie anywhere but within me. it is not my husband's failings. it is not because of the events that happened after my father died, or my 1st marriage, or any other thing. they may have changed superficial circumstance, but if you know me, you know that i would have made my dream life a reality if i had wanted it to be so. it is so much easier to live an imagined life, then to face the reality of it. and so, as my resin dries, and the sun begins flooding my studio with that velvet early light, i am peaceful, and overwhelmed with the work ahead of me...away from the table...spending time repairing tethers with friends, brothers, puppydogs, and importantly - a husband. to see if time away has rotted the ties, or if ties were meant to be held loosely, or if time spent will strengthen those that were meant to stay strong. i will dare myself to read past page 6 of this remarkable book...later. right now, i have things to do.

groan*sigh*ohhhhh! go now and buy "Hand Wash Cold - care instructions for an ordinary life." Karen Maezen Miller is an extraordinary woman I met at Squam the first year I went. although i am absolutely certain she has no idea who i am, our brief time together made an impact on my life. to say I want to BE her, is just, well, creepy, but the peacefulness she exudes (yes "exudes" is the only way to put it) is like anesthesia for a poor, stressed out person. you know when you have a good book, you subconsciously pet it adoringly...you don't want to finish it but you can't stop reading it? that's this book. she is not some pie-in-the-sky type of person...she is normal...she does laundry...she is wise. okay...enough. but buy the book. ************************************new topic. went for dinner at a nearby sushi place. word to the wise: if you walk into a restaurant that serves raw anything as it's specialty, and you are the only ones there at the dinner rush...trust your gut instinct and leave. or your gut will neener dance on you for some time. i will close now with that thought. quickly.

you know, it's strange getting older. i still feel like i'm 20-something, but then i catch a glance in the mirror and EEK! there's my mother looking back at me. i worry that i'll be like that creepy/cool aunt that does not act her age...still wearing long denim skirts and peasant blouses and saying "right on!" (like my sister). i feel like i'm coming closer to knowing mySelf as the seasons change (daily here in upstate NY) and, though frustrating at times, is an easy feeling...laying back in a small boat on a sunny day, being gently lulled by the current. and the truth is that i DO feel most like mySelf wearing long skirts and peasant blouses and all manner of gypsy-wear, and don't say "right on," but lived in a time when everyone did. not just Canadians. and yes, i can rock a mullet, but choose not to. so i look at the clothes i wear to the cube farm everyday, and they don't say "me." and my hairstyle doesn't say "me." and something in me fights this - is confused...so i've become rough-edged and prickly...walls and barbs. but that little twinkle inside kept shining and fighting it's way to the top and kept reminding me of who i am ... deep inside. and now, the excavation continues. a few years ago, i started slowing down, mentally & intentionally - paying better attention to the details of the blessing of life that had been gifted to be...paying better attention to the things i allow into my life - good & bad...and i was amazed on both counts. so i began to weed through things, and clear out the things that were choking out the room for the good things. then rested for a while, and my creativity blossomed and my opportunities opened up. although i feel that i am true to myself, i don't feel that i project that...in my dress or, sometimes, in my speech & reactions. so i feel a softening of the edges beginning to work in me...a breaking down of the last defenses and

while your leetle bunnies are getting hopped up on candy, remember this

okay.

i've updated the paint-o-rama story & added some pictures. there was so much more contained in the day, such as Beautiful Stepdaughter stopping by at 10pm-ish to see the new bathroom, look for blood, and perhaps collect on a bet. while here, she talked of a planned summer semester abroad, and has it narrowed down to China, Japan or Africa. she has recently decided her passion is interior design and/or urban planning. kind of both, which i think is very cool. she has also decided that spending weekends wasted and barfing is not the way to go about life. which is a relief. although i would not try to influence her decision on where to go for her semester, i did bring my computer down to show her Swirly's flicker from Japan. i mean, talk about urban planning...she was totally in awe of the population density (her words) and we may have made an impression. plus she heard that outside the 2 main cities of china, there are no bathrooms inside. never been - can't confirm. and when she said the words "population density" i knew my sweet, beautiful stepper had learned stuff. and i knew i would work double-secret-triple overtime to pay for any degree she wanted, because she was not wasting her time & our money. and i won't step off that happy thought to compare. the whole extended family (meaning bio & step parents & children) seems to be tensing and gearing up for the train wreck that will be coming back to town in May. we are learning new skills and new boundaries. it will not be pretty, but we have all talked and will stand united. God save the Queen. but enough of that. It's easter, and as near as i can figure, that's a marking point for rebirth and renewal. i suppose the Bathroom Project is a good example. So i wish you all a rebirth of all that is good within you, and a renewal of energy and spirit to accomplish all that life has for you!

paint-o-rama - the completed story

okay - y'all....we are at Hour 5 of the paint-o-rama, and not 1 drop of paint has seen a brush. i beseech you to pray hard, as it would be a stone ground shame to be incarcerated on Easter. i will update as time allows...which may be frequent, as i am not allowed to do anything. i will update on this same page, so as to create a cohesive and step-by-step account for my attorney. i believe the pictures will tell the story, and feel that i would not be convicted by a jury of my true peers. peace be with you...it should be somewhere. **************************************************************************** some quick background...my husband and i discovered early on in our marriage that we cannot, under any circumstance, work on a project together, we each have our views on why that is so. i will tell you mine, since this is my forum. and because i am right. he is a man. a man with undiagnosed A.D.D. (undiagnosed, except by me). he is unable to stay on task. i am glad he isn't a fireman, because in the midst of a blazing Signal 99, he would see that there was a spot of grease on the Big Red Truck, and have to go clean it. there may be a touch of OCD also, because before we could begin our Plan today, the dishes had to be done downstairs, and the laundry started. just as we approached Commencement Of The Project, he decided to change out the light socket thingie that you plug things into. we are now into hour 2 of "is it on?" as i run the stairs into the garage & hit the breaker. such trust. diva is outside on this glorious day, but only wants to be where i am, so she sees me running the stairs, hears the garage door open and starts wailing. each time. every time. i have made a list of project steps, as told to me by the Project Manager, then broken each step down into bite-sized pieces, hoping that will do the trick. somewhat. i am the Project Bitch...grab this, hand me that. however, i spackled. i admit i am a good spackle wacker. oh oh - i hear cursing and a power tool. **added note: to be fair, I am a great Organizer Of Things, only because i have learned to corral my A.D.D. energies within a list. by that i mean, i look at a project (be it getting ready in the morning, or taking over Canada) and become so overwhelmed, it could cripple me & send me running in the other direction. so i break it down into it's smaller bits. and a small bit is easier to deal with. rather than some gi-normous EVENT, it is just a series of tiny things. my lists are long & detailed. i recognize that husband still sees the whole EVENT as One Big Swirling Vortex and doesn't know when/where to jump start in...like double dutch jumprope. so he walks in circles getting all freaked out as the swirling tornado threatens to consume him while people stare at him expecting him to lead them to safety. this is where beer helps him...he has something to blame it on. we did this project without the assistance of beer, (i don't drink anyway. he does), which in itself is amazing. i think the condition of youngblood's life has made him see the light. but back to the point. i have to talk him down, make him breathe, and show him an abbreviated list. like - get in car, drive to border, take over canada. easy peasy ... 3 steps. so yesterday's list was prep bathroom, paint, install light fixture. within the list, there may be a billion steps, but this helps calm him. then comes the fight against the OCD. he can spend countless hours removing one tiny piece of something from the wall. (see photo above) (nice headlamp, eh?) i say "we'll hang a picture over it." we shall have many many pictures in this bathroom. ok - back to our story. **************************************************************************** 1:45 ...nope - no paint yet. ************************************************************************** 4:16 ... ceiling done. and word to the wise - never not ever should you use sand paint. do not. it is heavy. and after whining that all i've gotten to do is shpacle, i was given the joy of rolling. i hate edging, so it seemed like a treat. that baby is heavy when loaded with sand paint. heavy. and you get one roll per load. just one. ************************************************************************** well, as you'll see by the pictures i plan to post, it's done...and mighty darker than what it was supposed to be. but we're still getting the light fixtures back in, so i'm hopeful it will brighten up and be more spa-like than cave-like. it was early when i went to get the paint...i may have pointed to the wrong stripe on the paint chip. but i will love the hell out of it anyway. because it is done. i also sneaked in a little chandelier. i have been just dying for a blingy twinkly chandelier for a year now. so i grabbed one at the home store this morning, along with a look that said Do Not Test Me On This One. now, no blood has been shed, which is amazing. our 1st project together with no threats and recriminations. i do believe we have worn each other out in the past 8 years!. more to come.... ******************************************************************** it is mostly finished...still need towel racks and shower curtain installation, and you can see by the pictures, we still have a Very Brady Harvest Gold tub & toilet that came with the house. those projects must wait for another day. in the far far future. a future without tuition and taxes to pay. and we want to savor the moment of having completed this project with no unkind words or bloodshed. and besides, husband remembered he has to go out of town tomorrow. and i have the day off! if only i had some copper sheet to work on some jewelry, but that's scheduled for later in the week. not that i can use my hands...my entire body is limp & swollen from holding a paint roller and running the stairs. and today, there is an insistence upon painting the hallway up the stairs (ceiling and all). God help us.

700

this is my 700th post! i had hoped it would be something deep, and soulful, but it's early early, and diva woke up on the wrong side of the dish, so she's all fussy and whining, so it is what it is. today i start stopping again. smoking that is. 3rd time's the charm? or is it 3rd on a match? either way, i will (again) give it my best go, and would appreciate any prayers you may feel inclined to send up. i figure Good Friday is as good a time as any. although "catholic" is not one of the many religions i've followed, i figure it can't hurt. someone somewhere has to be right, and if it's the catholics, then God is in a great mood right now, with a higher than average church attendance. my husband is catholic..."non-practicing" he says. like, he doesn't go to church, but don't even think of serving sloppy joe's on friday during this time of year. yes, my office is open. a fact that has our mostly geriatric demographic appalled. i want to point out that if we weren't, they'd have no one to call and complain to, but let them know that we employ non-easter people, so they are somewhat mollified thinking that it's the jews and muslims manning the phones. *sigh* I think if i were an employer, i'd give a ton of holidays off. i mean, the work will get done. the cube farm will buzz and wheeze with activity, and being that it's all deadline sensitive, the worker ants will find a way to get the stuff done in time, and probably whistle while they work, knowing they will have the solstice off. or Frida's birthday off, or some vague and unheard of holiday that appears on my Pema Chodron calendar. i like to bedevil my manager by pointing out that it's such-and-such a holiday (somewhere) and that i am once again working under protest of the oppression. when she first joined the company, she thought perhaps i was serious. but when the Remembrance Of The Water Buffalo day came around, she got an inkling that she may have been put in charge of the Island of Lost Toys. it happens. sometimes you leave the security of a 6-figure income with a soft landing at 65, but a boss who's only purpose is to insite creativity in homicidal dreams...you reach for that shiny new promise, and before you can get your paperclips in their swanky new mesh desk organizer...BAM...you realize you've made a huge mistake. but we've all settled in nicely, and soft edges have formed around each of us, fitting the soft edges of the one next to us. except the new girl who can't seem to make it to work. who will be off again today, despite the fact that 2 others will be off. today - i will be the department. just me. so i guess i was telling the truth about the easter people being off. anyway, the caffeine has hit my fingers before my brain, and i'm rambling. so whatever holiday you celebrate, if it happens to be this weekend or thereabouts, i wish you a happy / solemn / peaceful one - depending on your beliefs. me? we will be celebrating Valspar. the holiday of painting the bathroom and hallway. followed, no doubt by Miranda, the holiday of having your rights read to you and yellow tape being stretched across the crime scene. some people just don't play well together in tight quarters, each having Very Strong Opinions over everything from workflow to brush selection to actual color of paint. although, given the pre-paint decisions that need to be made, it is doubtful that color selection will be attained, and we will be celebrating divorce - the holiday of choosing whatever damn paint color you want. happy spring y'all!

the Prince, the iPod, and the Hat

today...was a magical day. the weather was just grazing 70-degrees...our phone system went dead for 3 hours at work...and i had a non-stop string of coincidences that just make you bubble. so here's how it went down. you know how it is - the last song you hear before you get out of the car at work will repeat endlessly throughout the day in your head. so choose your engine cut-off wisely. in the new spankly-mobile, i can finally plug in my ipod, so i cruised in to the cube farm, rockin out, and the last song i hear: Prince, Let's Go Crazy. very apropos for the work i do. the first call i take? the person lives on Prince St, and while i'm on that call, my cube-mate is talking to a Mr. Prince. freak me out. so now i'm gone - i will stretch this 6-degrees of seperation thing till it snaps like a girdle. just because it's fun. so a few minutes later, i'm making a collage (oh stop - like you don't play at work, given the chance) and I'm cutting out a frog picture, while talking to an office manager of ours. and she makes a comment about having to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince. pick me up off the floor my friend and slap me hard. this is getting creepy - an interactive game from the Universe. so little blah blah blahs continue, and of course at random moments i have to just spout out "Dearly Beloved" which in my mind has all the echo & effects added. i may add that i had an extra cup o' joe this morning, so i was in pretty high gear. (my normal being Very High Gear. Add a gear...i was there). so right before lunch, i get a call from a man in florida who tells me we suck and he'll spend the rest of his life telling everyone we suck and he'll even come back from the afterlife to tell people we suck. The afterlife! it's in the song!. so i got him calmed down and he starts telling me that he's in florida because he's a snowbird from West Virginia and his best friend snowbird is from syracuse and they had a hell of a day going during the recent basketball playoffs and now his friend is going back to syracuse and won't be back because he's Very Very Sick and he tried to find a syracuse hat for him down there for him. so, high on caffeine and The Game, i say "i'll get you a hat." and then he tells me that his friend is leaving monday. well, after about a 2-minute silence because he couldn't believe what he just heard. so now It's On. i must find and overnight a syracuse hat on my lunch hour. i call marketing - no swag from the 'Cuse. crap. so i run to the shopping center at lunch, all hopped up and daring JUST DARING the universe to let me down. bing. first store. now, the hat was in the mens section, but honestly it looked small in the brim. i found a man and asked him if it looked too small in the brim and he said it seemed okay. i asked the checkout person if it was truly a mens hat or just dumped in the mens section when some kids mom said NO. she scanned it and it said mens. so i bought it and ran next door to the kinkos for shipping. now my friends...fedex may be very very fast, but the clerks at the fedex that are responsible for taking your money and letting you get back to your desk on time - are not. while i waited, explosively, in line, i saw a big-headed man and thought Perfect! i asked him if he thought the brim was too small, and he took some thoughtful moments and looked at the hat, and decided it was ok. he seemed hesitant, and his opinion was important because he was in the same age demographic as the recipient. and had a big head. so if it looked okay on him, then it will be fine on an average-headed man. so i made him try it on. he looked inside it first, like i had hidden an egg or something, then tried it on. he deemed it perfect and said the brim wasn't small after all, just pre-curled like everyone likes them. so i plopped it in the box and fainted...my $7 hat would cost $50 to ship overnight. saturday was only $30, so i opted for that... a deal's a deal. and a big mouth will cost you right around that. plus i figure florida man will think i forgot when it doesn't come tomorrow, because after all, we suck and have never lived up to our ads or promises made. so hardy har mister. it was an amazing April Fools day of an egg-hunt twinkly day. all because of my prince. isn't it just so fabulous some days?

yess yesss i know...no post in a while...i've been spending some time with the stepper while she's home from college on one of their many breaks. (are we getting our money's worth??) anyway...i'm also working furiously on a few projects, which combined with the planned paint-o-rama this weekend (interior house painting, not beret-and-smock painting) promises to melt me down. yesss yesss i know...the usual all-or-nothing. i'll take it! each state of being has it's challenges, but honestly, wouldn't you rather be griping about too many choices on the menu? so I'll prioritize and time-slot everything, and the most urgent things will make themselves clear. like right now - shower and walkie time...one for me and one for Diva, who is suffering re-entry after spending the night at Camp Grandma...where there is endless buffets of chicken and hamburg and cheese for any doggie who turns their nose up at **gasp** dog food. i get the after effects, the fallout, if you will, with the disdainful looks and diarrhea. how i lived to adulthood remains a mystery. this weekend will demand pictures, as there is no possible way for a Project to become completed with drama and disaster in our house. (recall the thanksgiving with plugged sinks as an example).