from my brother : sorry - you have to copy & paste....but creative genius is worth the effort... http://crackle.com/c/Music/_Please_Don_t_Bomb_Nobody_This_Holiday_/2411915#ml=fi%3d%26fu%3d2487346&tra=clickthrough&cmp=taf

indeed

that dog...she made me oversleep again....she gets all up next to me and curls in. then she puts her little paw on my hand or cheek and sighs. now who could resist this behavior? so the word for the day is : adoralicious. she is so cute, she's almost edible. wishing you all some adoralicious moments today! L.

Invisible man on 1st

did y'all used to have that? invisible man on 1st...when Steven Marcus was grounded and there weren't enough Actual Visible players? someone would kick the ball and it would be an automatic 1st base, even though Steven was very athletic, if insecure to a fault, and would probably have sent the ball to jupiter, had he been allowed out to play. so geting around to my point, and i do have one....Diva has an invisible friend. yes. she will suddenly wake up and sprint for the back door where she will attempt to claw her way out (stinks to be thumbless) like her life depended on it. the instant The Instant i tell you she hits the back deck, her tail starts a spinning wag, which is a high degree of difficulty for her breed. (eskie). her invisible friend is no doubt the very same chipmunck that has bedeviled her all summer, only now it's moved into it's winter home under our deck. the deck is slatted wood sort of, so she is able to get a good sniff of whatever is under there, and husband began a demolition on this deck last last year (that's 2 years ago) but only got as far as 1 part of 1 board in the corner. so she is able to get her snout down in there, and i worry that she'll get her face stuck and hurt something in the removal thereof. but she remains undeterred. after her recent apple-two-step incident, i am very sensitive to her needs, as far as the potty is concerned, so when she wakes up at, oh, say 2am, 3am, and starts pawing at me, i will bolt upright and run for the back door tripping on my bathrobe. imagine my feelings and thoughts when she starts wagging and sniffing along the deck, oblivious to my need for sleep and the early hour that i am freezing my ankles. then of course, about 20 minutes after we're snuggled back into bed, she remembers that she never did get around to potty-fying. i am tired y'all. i have been going to bed around 8:30, just hoping to get a few early winks before the Invisible Friend starts partying. oh and speaking of which....my stepchildren are home for the holiday. my stomach is pre-knotted. husband? oh - he left this morning for another vacation day or two in the woods. safe place safe place. thank Jesus i don't work tomorrow, because as youngblood headed out the door an hour ago, he announced he'd be back late (which means early, but on the other side of the 12) so between I.F. and youngblood, i should get 1-inch of sleep. enough of this....now i'm in a mood. speaking of being in a mood, am i the only one who just does not look forward to holidays (except my birthday, of course)? i really do not like holidays. especially the biggies - thanksgiving & christmas. i just want to spend those days in my jammies watching movies. without in-laws or other people creating chaos & trampling on my zen. i want to spend thanksgiving being actually thankful. maybe quietly doing some meditation, naming everything i'm grateful for, eating chocolate cake and napping. same for christmas, but i'd like people to stop by briefly Briefly and drop off presents for me. i just don't like commotion. at all. i think it's because my JOB is commotion all day. i need quite of lot of quietness. and my M-I-L is the antithesis of that. god! i can hear her glass-crunching voice now. advice i give my stepchildren: marry an orphan. i think i could indeed become a part-time hermit. at least when it comes to holidays. so i want to treat myself to a short vacation in january or march...i'm not sure where to...and just for a few days - leave on a friday morning, return on sunday night or monday morning. hmmmm. i'll think on that. AND! the 10th semi-annual Girls Pajama & Craft party will be coming up! picture 2 nights in a penthouse suite with a roaring fireplace and a room full of women all making art or chocolate cake or reading a book or whatever they feel like. loft bedroom, plus another plus another, plus all the other usual rooms, and a kitchen with food! if this sounds like fun....drop me a line so you'll be included! stay for an hour, come & go, stay for a few days....it's your party, do what you want to....but no crying. so what a ramble, huh? okay i'm done i think, and off to bed like an old person. if anyone has any information on whether or not my husband is planning another surprise birthday party for me, please let me know. Thanks! be back with you after the holidays....i wish you all the happiness of a Norman Rockwell thanksgiving! pray for me. :) Linda

out from under

i'm coming up for a quick breath of air, thanks to puppy prodding! she will tell you i Never feed her, Never walk her, Never talk to her...she will try to call my friend Betsie to report Animal Cruelty (now there's a job no one lines up to interview for). In fact, i feed her too much of things she shouldn't have as much of (chicken), take her on a Big Walk through the woods every morning FIRST THING, and talk to her incessantly throughout the day till people think i'm a nutter. the past 3 days though, maybe not so much. i have been up to my eyeballs in aligators trying to get Christmas orders done. and, can i say, i am so very pleased with the work! i'm grateful for the sudden demand, and also grateful that i am able to stay true to my focus of Instinctual Elements Jewlery. it's almost a little freaky to create a piece, not even know where that came from, then have a call for something Exactly like it! kind of exciting, and also so humbling...to think that i am being Cared For enough to be taught....to be taught to listen to my inner voice - my "instinct" ....to trust ...to value myself and my instinct...all these things and more rolled into one, and out comes a beautiful piece of jewelry! i was up well into the single digits, then after a few hours, began again. i have a long table set up in the livingroom (husband out of town!) with bowls and bowls and bowls of beads and chain and findings. every so often, i'll get up to stretch, and just stare at the bowls of delightful colors, like a photograph from Gypsygirl's markets in India...mmmmmm....tasty! i am so in my element when i'm creating...so in The Zone...it's peaceful and meditative and so so wonderful. the brilliant sun shining in searching for it's own rainbow in the rows of clear colored glass...my diva's gentle snoring in the patch of sunlight that visits her on the rug by my feet...the blue jays and cardinals, strikingly gorgeous against the snow-covered evergreens, peer in at us as they stop for a bite to eat...this is It...this Is...every night before i fall asleep, i tell Diva she's my Reason...these past few days creating - filled with precious moment after moment of wonderment and gratitude - this, my friend, is Authentic. (quietly -) shalom now y'all. L.

brainstorming during the dukie dash

diva had tummy trouble last night, and during one of the many dukie dashes we did, i was thinking (this beautiful thought was not inspired by the action taking place, by the way...i just happened to have more time to think, given my awake state). wouldn't it be cool to do a "blessing of the month" type thing? have a group in place, and a leader to keep things going smooth, but here's how it would work: if you wanted to be part of it, let me know, and send me your snailmail address/phone number, email address. then, each person would get a list with names on it, and starting with month 1, you pick the name below yours on the list and make something for them, to be sent out by the last friday of the month. then move on to the next name. "make something" is kind of loose...are you a poet? then a poem written especially for that person would be the ticket. or an art quilt wallhanging. or whatever you truly feel like sending. make it your best. remember, you are there to bless the people on the list. and in doing so, are being blessed by others....some you know, and some not. i'd thought of doing it as an anonymous thing, with me sending out the names each month, but i honestly don't need that much more work! so decide if this sounds like a cool thing, and email me if you're interested, and can be true to deadlines & stuff: kitasmom at verizon dot net. if enough people are in, then we'd begin in january, after the madness, and go till we get through the list. if enough people sign up, then we can split it into more than 1 list, so it isn't a lifelong committment! so what do you think? also i forgot to tell you 2 things!! (hold on - diva is squealing by the back door - here we go again.) ok i'm back. with the making of the Snow Angel, it reminded me how much fun i had with the Random Acts Of Art thing, and have re-begun that! the idea is to make small pieces of art (ATC's etc) and leave them in public places for people to pick up and keep, or pass on. it's good to write "yes- this is for YOU" or similar on it, as most people won't touch what isn't theirs. fun! thing #2 that my menopausal brain just released from the vault: Debbie & I are starting our own collaboration! as you may/may not know, she is a Certified Feng Shui Master, trained in the authentic Chinese Tradition (not the Feng Shui like, put a piece of bamboo here & dance the hokey pokey). we are in the process of getting an etsy store going, and have something VERY special and VERY wonderful to fill it! i'll give you another heads up when it's stocked, but i feel so blessed to be able to work with debbie on this. she has such a down-to-earth spirit, and a no nonsense approach to her knowledge. i know, i just KNOW you will want every single thing in that store! hopefully by mid-December at the latest we'll be up & running. sorry for the tease, but it so close to my heart that i don't want to jinx it with imitators, etc. so - off to finish Georgia's quilt, and hopefully get more Christmas necklace orders finished! Be awesome today! and have you ordered your copy of Ordinary Sparkling Moments yet from Swirlygirl? i mean, Christmas is coming! don't embarass me here...i told her i knew just EVERYone and they ALL need copies. :) namaste, y'all. L.

"she tried"

who knew??

maybe you weren't aware that i am an ordained minister in 2 different churches....1 i take very seriously, and 1 ...well...you see for yourself : www.dudeism.com. it's good if you've seen The Big Lebowski. which i plan to do this weekend again - there's so much meat to it, you can't take it all in with 1 viewing. snick. so have a blessed day, y'all. L.

some for you?

i will be posting more soon...please feel free to contact me regarding pricing and availability...kitasmom at verizon dot net. L.

chocolate cake

here are a few places i love to check out: **http://www.davidnewmanmusic.com (he's coming to the yoga center by me in December!) **www.christinekane.com (she has a great commentary about the voice in our head that says "who do you think you are??") **http://www.ratical.org/many_worlds/6Nations/OL070391.html (faithkeeper of the Onondagas, Oren Lyons tells it like it is! a very long transcript of the interview, but worth every moment reading) **http://www.shetakesthecake.com/indexmain.php (you'll see!) so, just a little dessert for you. i am SO loving the idea of snow - at least the part where i can play in it. and snuggle up inside and look at it out there. and wear my favorite sweaters (that hide all the bulges!) Now, the shoveling part - blecchh. feh. today i did both...after the xcski Incident, i snuggled in and watched 2 movies...the sheer DECADENCE was worth every misspent second! i watched "Imagine You & Me" which was thought-provoking, and made me laugh so hard in one part that i was screaming SCREAMING. i also watched Practical Magic and realized that I so want to be the Diane Weist character....she looks exactly how i imagine i will look in a few years...her hair, her clothes, her attitude - all of it...it's who i am inside right now, sort of. with a few modifications. **so my Magic 8Ball question - will you be hearing me on morning radio again soon? anyway - offtrack as usual. so enjoy the links! L.

the great white tundra

ahhh yes! can i BE any more excited? NO I CAN'T! it snowed real good last night, and today i got to try out my new XC skiis!! never mind that it has been 30 years to the month since i last did this...it's like riding a bike, right? hmmm, now that i think about it, THAT was a little shaky upon re-entry, as well. anyway...i am so excited about having BREATH since i stopped smoking on august 14th, and have been looking forward to this moment. i decided i would do yoga & power walk in the spring/summer/fall, and do yoga & xc ski in the winter. nice plan, right? so i layer a few cottons on, put on my short-bus earflap hat, & head to the garage for my new skis! this will be so much fun. weird skis, hmm. okay all set. except the plow came and the road to the park is asphalt & salt, so across my neighbors yards i go...i mean, this should just be a matter of heaving ho and away i go, right? (heaving ho indeed, as i will soon know). oops - snowblower...good dodge. neighbor hysterical at the site of me, as he lights up a cigarette. asks if i have my cell phone. ha ha very funny. ok - the park. pure pristine snow. kinda deep snow. with sticky icy stuff under it that is sticking to my ski. and pulling my left leg back. way back. but the front one is going forward real well....hunh. oh ouch. ok. try again. now don't get discouraged. it's only been 5 minutes and it will take a bit SSSHHHIITTT the hill that goes straight into the pond!! THAT hill! crap. thank god for the bench. although i'll have a benchmark for some time. i made it down the "trail" to the echo echo tunnel...and i say Trail as if there was some groomed passageway with a martini bar set up and warming huts at intervals. no. this is Trail - as in where the Path would be if you could see it and it was summer. which it isn't. and i have 3" globs of sticky icy snow on 1 ski and not so much on the other. so i lift the ski up (you know what's coming, right?) i lift it up, you see, to clear away the clumps so i can better "ski" home. there are pine needles all jammed in this train wreck of a ski. and i say "ski home" as if that is indeed what i have done to get to where i am. in fact, it's been more of a march with skis on. i am sweaty and red-faced and puffing and now laying on my side in the snow because the 1 ski left on the ground suddenly WOKE up and ....skiied! before i was ready. so i ski-marched back toward my house. when i got to the road, i took off the skis so as not to alarm my neighbor. as i went past Debbie's house, a wimper escaped....she's been sick sick sick. she would have known what to do...she always does. so i jammed my poles & skis in the ground, walked to the center of her front yard and flopped down in the snow. and made a perfect snow angel for her. get well soon debbie, before i kill myself. you are my voice of reason, even without your voice. and so my friends, this is the Incident of the Heaving Ho. L.

i need a place to live

....for 2 incredibly wonderful kitties. (sorry for the gotcha - i'm desperate). when your stepdaughter calls from college, sobbing that her mother is taking her 2 declawed cats to the barn to live....what can you say? problrm: although Diva would be out of her natural puppy head (see previous posts re same) i am allergic. these cats have no idea how to hunt, and although they began as part of a litter that was born at this same barn, they have been raised in the lap of luxury. i should live so good, is how they live. for some reason known only to them, they have begun a spraying campaign, despite being best buds for 2 years. who knows what cats think? but i just can't have 2 spraying cats in my allergic face. 1 maybe. 2 - no. so you see what's happened here, don't you? these are now MY cats somehow. they are MY responsibility while husband hunts and stepper studies and diva pines. you know who gets the litterbox and the kleenex and 2 more mouths to feed? me - suckergirl. so help me...help me...call now...email now...put a little meow in your mix. i beg you. they come with all the usual accessories - litterbox, food bowls, dream house & corvette....i beg you call....L.

today, as one of my co-workers was let go (let go - sounds as if she had been straining to break free) i realized again how grateful i am for my part-time piece of the pie. despite the callers that were testing the limits of my limits and trampling on my zen, yes, today i was uber-grateful. through teeth that were clenched and a blood pressure reading that was non-human, yes. i would look at the empty desk and say Thank You. i drove home in my own car, came home to a warm house, opened the refridgerator and found food. Thank You. so many things to be grateful for. Thank You. mostly, at this second, i am grateful for a cuddly puppy because i am bushwhacked tired and grateful for my king-sized bed....to myself! husband is off on business. so an early goodnight to you...God Bless y'all. and i mean that. L.

spiritual GPS

i got lost. i was headed on the right path, and became distracted. and took directions from an unreliable source...my brain. my spirit said "this way." but the flashy lights and pretty pretties caught the brain's attention, even as the spirit said Oy. i'm finding my way back now...though the path backward is hard to follow - overgrown in parts. maybe if i sit quietly and close my eyes and breathe...maybe if i set an intention to follow my breath to my heart...to my spirit...maybe i won't have to backtrack quite the distance that it feels i must...maybe a nod to the spirit that, yes - you were right all along, maybe that would suffice...i think so...so i tell you here that i do truly and fully appreciate all of the magnificence that surrounds me and abides in me...i am in awe of the Presence of Love that would care about such a speck as me...as much as the hawks and the crows and bard owls and turtles and phesants and the smell of my woods and the powerful roll of waves on my lake and the tiny paw placed in my palm at night and true fierce friends that speak their minds and love intensely and all fine things given me burst my heart with joy - as much as all these wonderful things have been placed in my life, i will realize that they are gifts...gifts...gifts given to be appreciated...gifts selected by the giver for me...and i will be deeply grateful ever.

PS

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when wishes come true

be careful what you wish for, part deux. i am sick today. really yukky sick. fever / chills / bodily fluids. i wanted time to read my go-zillion books, and joked about a sick day. it was just a joke. *sigh* but the universe apparently does not understand the concept of "just kidding." i had to take Nyquil last night in order to sleep. i don't take it often at all (despite my jokes & references to it) because it does strange things to me. so i woke up this morning all sick & yukky, but humming "Aqualung" from Jethro Tull. now i may be old, but i haven't thought about Tull in a long time. i actually went to a Tull concert back in the day (and the tickets were an outrageous $6.50 at the prime of their career!) and didn't hum Aqualung THEN, so it tells you how bongo my brain gets on this stuff. go figure. but in my fevered haze throughout the morning, i dreamt of bearded men in Oliver-esque clothing playing the flute. oy. all i want is some chicken-and-stars soup, some grape soda with chipped ice and my woobie. DivaDog has plastered herself to my side and is keeping watch. so - time to recline. just be careful what you wish for! L.

from the cover of The Dance by Oriah Mountain Dreamer: What if the question is not why am i so infrequently the person i really want to be, but why do i so infrequently want to be the person i really am? ***And so begins the middle of a life well-lived, a garden tended with regularity, a heart open and willing to open further...yet this time with a gatekeeper and a watchman. as it should be with any precious vessel. ***i've signed up for a 2-day workshop/event of kirtan with David Newman (google him). i have no expectations or limitations. just....to be. ***there's an interesting pattern in my life or whatever....3 of the most influential women in my life could all be sisters...they are all physically similar - strikingly so, in fact. even their voices are very similar in tone and timbre and pacing. and their laugh is identical - even to my fussy ear. most importantly - their hearts are all from the same place, and their spirits all radiate the same peaceful confidence. and 2 of the 3 know each other, but weren't aware that i know both of them. they weren't aware of their physical similarities until i pointed them out. and 1 of the 3 has taken a class taught by 1 of the others. they have each come into my life at 1-year intervals for the past 3 years...just after my heartfelt prayer was for a role model. just a little math on this sunny afternoon. **last night i stopped at the bookstore to pick up some books i ordered and sunk headlong into the magazine section, coming up for air only when i had about 6 magazines stuck in my hands. i admit i have an extreme magazine addiction. i love getting them in the mail, but i get impatient and usually end up forgetting which ones i subscribe to and buy them also. oops. so right now i'm reading The Invitation, The Dance, The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, Ordinary Sparkling Moments (again), Living Zen, and the 6 magazines. i like to keep a book or magazine in the car, in case of traffic, or more likely "in case" i get somewhere early. the rest follow me around the house. the Dragon Tattoo is my breakfast book. lunch is a wildcard. after dinner Oriah, and bedtime is Sparkling Moments. and somehow, yes, i AM working on my CrowWoman. my other addction. ok gotta go........L.

in the air

it seems as though the past few weeks worth of unsettledness has transformed itself into a blue funk for so many. i am up and down like the stock market, as usual. but i've spent the past 4 hours on the phone on 2 seperate calls from 2 incredibly special women who are hurting in the deepest depths. one, for no reason she can point at, accuse, then dismiss. one, for reasons that would slice your heart open, and so shall remain off this page. others throughout the past week have spoken of a thickly decending fog of lethargy and sadness...otherwise strong, wise, confident women feeling....a little unsteady, a little unsure, a bit uncertain. perhaps the first nip of winter has come to steal a bit of warmth from the spirit...announcing it's arrival as it chills up the toes and shins, tensing the body as a shiver passes. winter is normally my season to hide out in the comfort of thick, cozy blankets in front of a roaring fire with at least 3 good books piled up next to me...to spend my days as if they were unnumbered...quietly and away...tucked into a shell, a cocoon. this winter will not win the tussle, though. i am determined to fight...with breath coming easy to these smoke-free lungs, i plan to take up my cross-country ski poles and head out to the Adirondacks...to tour my woods and nearby Beaver Lake...i plan to replace lethargy with exhaustion...and be sad only that a wonderfully-spent day has come to a close. i plan to do this. i am tired of being tired. i am angry at being depressed. and win or not, i will fight it this winter. i may need some help, and i know i can count on you. just as you know you can always count on me. by the way - i picked up The Invitation, and The Dance - both by Oriah Mountain Dreamer. is it possible to read 2 books at once?? go - order them. Linda

random

what is your deepest, darkest fear/want/need? you don't have to post it if you don't want to. mine? hmmmm. that You won't Know me. i think it's why i talk so much. you?

(THIS PICTURE IS NOT CROWWOMAN) (just so you know) i've been up since 5:17am working on CrowWoman. in the middle of it all, i got an urgent idea for an altered book. so i had to stop everything and work on the book. i made it with a particular person in mind, so i can't show it here. i have to be sneaky and figure out how to get it to the person without them knowing it is from me. i love doing that! hmmmm. oh well, it'll come to me. right now, my knees feel like they are perma-straightened from standing still for so long. i did take a quick break while Perfectly Beautiful stepgirlchild and her brother came by for brunch. that ended loudly & quickly, as do most of husband's family gatherings. so hard to keep your spirit centered with everyone trampling on your zen. but i suspect you already know that i took a slight deviation from my usual mild mannered self and detonated in the midst of it all. ahh. peacefulness again. i did not grow up in an arguing household, and this is tiring. but i suspect it will be very quiet here for some time now. namaste y'all.

lunch with a monk

If you're ever missing a monk, check Target....trust me on this one. L.

thanks for asking - i'm feeling raw and exhausted. and a little too edgy to trust myself with a post i wouldn't regret, so i'll stop now. i'm having lunch with my friend deb & some Tibetan monks saturday, so hopefully i'll be feeling more centered & strong by then & will give a full report. L.

i'm sitting here in the corner of my couch...my cozy spot...i've been up since 5am working on CrowWoman...my knees and back scream for rest, so i give in for a bit. diva & i had an extended snuggle, with much kitty-like head rubbing and belly show-offs on her part (she thinks she's a kitty - if only she'd use a litterbox at 3am)...i adore her...she's my Reason...i am grateful for being entrusted with her little big life...out my window, the nuthatches and cardinals have given over the feeder to the loud blue jays...they bombardier in screeching and warning away any other bird...except the mourning dove...can i say, i think i know why they have such a small head? oy. the sun slants in through the window, warming my face. and big, wet, blobby tears trace down my cheeks. oh how i need you...your kind words like a balm...your reassurance that makes me feel so strong, so able, so silly for ever doubting how strong & able i am, can be, with reassurance. today i will allow myself the luxury of tenderness...i will be gentle with myself...i will dream plans as i hope for healing...i will count my strengths and shore up my boundaries...i will eat ice cream for breakfast, and walk my woods with a determination...and as certain as i am that tomorrow will be another day, i will become certain that tomorrow will start another lifeplan. L.

i have been up for hours ...heeding the call of my CrowWoman...a most demanding piece of art she is...all quiet till i thought i'd lose my mind - now CAW demanding at all hours, as an "ah-ha" hits me on just how to attach this or that...and 3 times so far i've had to just stop...and breathe...and re-read the last post about The Invitation. i've heard from so many of you in emails about it...the fire re-warms and recreates...and yes, i would unquestionably stand in the midst of fire with You...and yes, i would lay face down screaming to god in grief with You....and yes, splashdance thru the shallows of my Lake with You, giddy with love for a plus sign...yes to all of you...thank you to all of you - for letting me in to know you with that curiousity of mine...for it's not just wanting to hold the china to the light, or turn it to look for the makers mark...you know it's just me wanting to Know you ...my heart, and my soul caring enough about you to care what it is that you are about. and thank you for returning that to me. now off to wire up some spoons. don't ask. L.